Academy of Art

I went to the Academy of Art University in downtown San Francisco today to show them my portfolio and learn about the illustration MFA program. I learned some very interesting things; the most important of these being that I want to do this program! I liked the school (it was so cool to be at an actual Art School... OSU had many merits; being an arty school was not one of them), I liked the location of the illustration building (right off Union Square, very convenient and also very fun), I liked the class sizes (very small, around 10-12), I liked the student work I saw, etc.

Basically, yeah. Seems like a good place for me. And they liked me, too (I think) ... the admissions person said my portfolio looked good, nice detail, good work. I don't have as many pieces as they want for admission review, but he said not to worry about it. I don't know what that means, but whatever.

So. Now what? He said if I wanted to start in January (!!) to get my application in by around Thanksgiving. I'm not ready to go back to school full time in January, by any means. But I really like the idea of getting an MFA in Illustration. Shea asked me what the pull was for me, about the program (since I do already do illustration). I thought about this tonight.

I think for me, it's the lure of finding (accepting) what my true path really is, and trying to go for it with all the tools at my disposal. I like the fancy degree, but beyond that, I really want to know my full potential (to borrow a phrase from work). I want to know how I respond to in-depth training. I want to know what I'm capable of. I have the tiniest little spark of an idea that I could be really good at this (finally! Something!) ... and that great education could bring it out of me. I want to illustrate beautiful, magical children's books (and whatever else) that brings as much joy and fascination, and sparks imagination, as much as my favorites did when I was little -- and now, for that matter. So much of who I am comes from the stories I read so obsessively. My whole life, I have dreamed of being able to 'draw like that'. It's been my most precious, guarded, fearfully kept dream. It seemed like magic, to be able to draw such things.

And I think I could do it.

That's why I'd like to go to school.

So, what I'm going to do is this. I'm going to apply. And if I get in, then I'll see what I can manage. Maybe just one class per term this next year. Then, we'll see. Or maybe I need to wait a year for Terri to finish up her post-doc, and for me to explore my business ideas. But I want to apply, and I want to see if I get in. Maybe I can defer. Maybe there's other options. I just don't know. But I'm not going to let the unknown stop me from making some steps towards a dream that I finally see as my own.

I got this in an email today:
The path that speeds us toward our dreams can be a challenging and complex one, so it's easy to get bogged down in confusion and insecurities. We often hesitate at the start of that path, questioning our purpose or our capabilities. Yet we should be moving forward joyously, eager to discover what destiny has in store for us. The universe has plans for us that eclipse anything we have dreamed of thus far.

When we understand that we only need to enthusiastically try our best to realize our objectives, the universe will take care of the details, propelling us forward in its unstoppable current. We may not always immediately understand the significance of certain experiences, but our trust will help us choose wisely at each crossroads.

The universe wants to see you accomplish your goals. No matter how long you've dallied or hesitated, it will always be there to put its plan for you in motion at the first sign of your faith. You can make the most of this aid by acquiescing to it rather than fighting it-nurture your dreams but do not attempt to micromanage every detail along the way. The universe will provide you with guidance and, if you heed that guidance, you will find your formerly stressful quest for success will become a journey of great joy.

Yet again, a big old leap of faith.