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I was thinking today, what should I give up for Lent? and then I thought, should I give up something for Lent? After all, it's sort of a foreign practice to me (Lent traditions) and not really my own, although I see the value in it and I love Easter (the Christian holiday, the secular holiday, and the pagan holiday). I sort of settled on doing something health-related for myself and to give up crap sugar during the work day. It's not really a sacrifice because I decided if I really wanted some sugar I can have some dark chocolate, or if it was a really nice special something-or-other, then it would be okay... instead, just giving up random nibbles of sugar out of habit, and really thinking about what I put in my body. Which isn't a sacrifice, but is a good habit to get into. So I don't think it counts, but I'll count it as my sort of heathen nod to Lent.
Last night I watched an episode of "My Unique Family" (on TLC). This episode was about a family that calls themselves 'witches'. They practice Wicca, and founded a church in a small community on the East Coast. The wife is a Reverend of the Wiccan church (is there such a thing?), and their family is the hub and center of a small pagan community.
I had some reactions to this. I did a lot of reading about Wicca and earth-centered religions when I was in high school and college, and I have been part of a lot of pagan rituals and ceremonies here in the Bay Area (all of which have been really beautiful and powerful). I've always been drawn to certain kinds of earth-centered religions and really appreciate many aspects of this kind of faith:
- An emphasis on caring for the Earth and all living beings
- Focus on the Feminine aspects of the Divine, and/or the duality of the Divine
- The idea that you should Do No Harm, as every action comes back to you at least threefold
- The idea of personal power, translated into ritual and 'magic'
- Respecting elders
And so on. My dad brought me up with a certain kind of shamanistic tradition, so I'm very comfortable with the idea of personal power, magic (power of intention, power of attraction), other worlds, dream worlds, etc. This all makes sense to me. So I like all of that.
I think what I had a reaction to, in this particular show, was how this family and community sort of played into all the hokey 'witch' and 'pagan' stereotypes. Admittedly, I felt the show was probably edited to emphasize these things, and the family did seem to go out of their way to try and spread education and tolerance (they had a Halloween party and invited local religious leaders to come and watch their Samhain service, and many of the invited clergy came, which I thought was pretty great). I guess it's this emphasis on the title of 'witch' that got me, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it was just my own reaction, because I have a hard time being labelled anything. Even if I chose to follow a pagan, earth/Goddess centered religion, I think I'd have a hard time identifying myself as a 'witch'. I supposed I'd have less objection to 'pagan' as that seems to be more loosely defined.
The thing is, I'm not really all that confused about what I believe. I believe in the power of self, I believe in an immanent Divine power (the Divine is wherever you seek Him/Her/It). I believe certain things are holy. I believe Christ existed. I also believe many other spiritual teachers and leaders existed, and were holy. I believe they had direct access to this immanent power... I don't really believe in taking the Bible literally, but I have no problem drawing lessons and truths from it (or any other religious literature). I believe that we all have the power to do magic, and that sometimes ritual (spells, religious rituals, superstitions) helps focus this power. I believe in taking care of the Earth, and that we are all connected, all beings on the Earth. I believe in a Feminine higher power as well as a Masculine power (as well as a non-gender power... I believe they are all the same, just different aspects).
I believe that religion has a place, and that personal spirituality is very important. I believe in prayer, and I believe in the power of community. I believe that most religions have the same message at the core, and that the reason why there are so many different religions is because not everyone hears the message in the same way.
I long for a spiritual community. I felt at home (sort of) in the Unitarian Church but there isn't one here in Alameda, and I think Terri missed the Catholic traditions, and I'd like to find a place where we both feel at home. I like the Episcopal church, and I think that could be a really good spiritual home for us since it has a lot of the Catholic rituals that Terri loves, but is also liberal and open. I get hung up on the Jesus talk, though. However, since my dear Grandma was Baptist, I got a good dose of "Jesus Loves You" as a kid, and I find my own associations with Jesus sort of comforting, but I guess I have a hard time with Jesus as someone to worship. I'm open to Judaism. I'm open to Eastern religions. I think if I could find a place where I loved the community, and felt connected to the people there, it wouldn't really matter what denomination or religion it was. I love Annie Lamott's writing on this stuff. She's a great example of how to be a Christian AND a liberal AND a really complex person (not that that's an anomoly or anything, but she's just a great writer and a great example).
Anyway. As with all things, if I put my intention towards finding this community, I know I will. It's just a matter of doing it, really putting heart into it, and making it a priority. I could certainly find ways of bringing more spirituality into my daily life, however.
Well. Dinner is ready. I'm thinking of all my friends and family with much love, tonight.
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