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I know I'm not feeling well because instead of puttering around the house and doing some beading, all I did was make something to eat, take a bath, and get in bed. Later I moved to the couch. Usually I have to do laundry or sweep or put away stuff, but today I just don't feel up to it. Could be because the more I sit still, the less I cough. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Just watched an Oprah show on class. I think I've seen it before. It makes me think about my own societal class. It's funny because I make enough money that if I lived anywhere else, I'd definitely feel fancier, but since I live in the Bay Area, it's barely enough to pay for a one-bedroom apartment. Crazy. I grew up with very little money, but always felt safe and secure (usually). I was lucky, I had creative parents. I had what I needed, and then some. I think about the school I went to, and how I think I'm lucky that because even though we didn't have very much money, I didn't feel *too* left out, because we were in a small town and there just wasn't all that much to spend money on. I liked our little house and thought it was neat; I didn't particularly feel jealous of others' houses (although I admired them). I got to paint on the walls in my room; nobody else got to do that. And, everyone liked my parents and liked coming over to my house. So I felt generally fine. If you were one of the 'popular' kids, you had Guess jeans and wore Keds and maybe had a new or new-ish car or truck. But nobody had BMWs or Gucci or anything like that. It was not expected that your family would have money. It was a logging town, for pete's sake. Some people had more, certainly, and some people had much less, but it was more about sports and what you participated in, than what you had (usually). Anyway, interesting to think about.
Just makes me grateful for who I am, and for what I believe (and also how my beliefs are changing). I'm a very lucky girl who is learning to put preparation and opportunity together. I'm creating my own life (finally) and boy, it is a really cool thing.
Speaking of, over the holiday I did some pet-sitting for a client who lives in a very nice apartment, one of those big houses that has two apartments, one upstairs, one downstairs. Anyway, very nice place, it was a downstairs unit, with 3 fireplaces and beautiful wood flooring and Craftsman detailing, in a great neighborhood. But then, the upstairs neighbors came home, and I immediately felt that horrible anxiety that we had living in the Oakland apartment. Their dog was clicking across the ceiling, I could hear the guy talking on the phone, and things kept bumping around. I was INSTANTLY ultra-grateful for the place we are living now. It is SO quiet and peaceful here. We almost never hear our neighbors. What a blessing. After that little reminder, I'm tenfold more grateful than I was. Our house is getting cozier and we can stay here until we find our house, wherever it is. It's small, but it's fine. And quiet.
In other news, Terri started at Santa Rosa Kaiser yesterday. The commute wasn't too bad and she's really excited about working there. I'm so glad. I feel so hopeful about this year!
I'm trying to just let myself rest today, and not make plans and not do business stuff or housework. I'm doing a pretty good job of doing nothing. We'll see how I feel in the morning. I want to go back to work, but I don't want this to turn into pneumonia or something icky like that. Lots of tea with lemon and honey. Lots of laying around. Some rice pudding.
Things I'm grateful for today:
- Our nice, quiet, pretty apartment.
- The new friend in my mom's life.
- Terri's opportunities and good fortune.
- Tiger Lily's increasingly better health.
- Cough syrup.
- Finnish riisipuuro (Finnish style rice pudding).
- Our new tiny DVD player in the bedroom.
- Shea coming over with cough drops (thank you!!)
Time to head back to the couch with some more tea.
