Tuesday, September 05, 2006

On The Edge Of The Well

I don't know if it's because I'm tired (got up at 6) or what, but I have been so up-and-down today. Overall I'd have to say that I'm feeling pretty good, but I notice that I am right on the edge of falling down the well of "It'll never happen" and "Who do I think I am?"

Then I step back from the edge. But then I'm right there again.

Maybe I'm tired. Maybe it's because I'm worn down from strong antibiotics and I'm about to start my period. I can't quite tell if overall I'm feeling really good but with a touch of the blahs, or if I'm feeling really blah but I'm covering it up with 'no, I'm okay!" I'd guess I'm right in the middle, regardless.

I'm tired of it! I guess it's to be expected now and again. It's easy, once you're on that edge, to see all the things there are to feel bad about.

"We'll never be able to buy a house."
"My business ideas are silly."
"I'm a bad housekeeper."

So I'm trying to combat them with true, good statements.

"I have enough business to keep me busy, and I'm learning lots."
"In spite of it all, I'm saving money for a house, SOMEday (soon!)."
"The house is JUST FINE and I'll have time to clean it before bookclub."

So what's a girl to do?

This girl is going to have a big carb-fest, then sit down with colored pencils and work on the phoenix drawing for Terri, then go to bed early.

Take that, Well of Blahs.

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