Facing Fears

OK, so previous post I mentioned that I'm most afraid of success. Instantly, the Universe says, "Huh. Let's test that theory."

Not only do I have a personal chef job opportunity, I got another door opening tonight. We had just gotten home (see below) and I got a call from someone needing an emergency puppy-sit for tomorrow. Sure! They only live about a mile away so I went over to meet the puppy and get the key. Puppy: adorable 10-week old miniature pinscher. People: nice, friendly. Then, the husband says, "So... what else do you do?" I made some mention about graphic design, and he says, "No way! Really? I have about five corporations that I need some logos for and I can't find anybody that I like."

Huh.

One of his businesses is a Hispanic grocery store in Fruitvale. I didn't even mention the cooking/chef part. He's going to call when he gets back and set up a meeting.

Now I'm fighting panic. I suddenly have too much on my plate. An illustration project. Some necklaces. A personal chef quote to write up. And now, possible design job. And whatever else. Not to mention working full-time.

A few things are becoming obvious:

1. There is a market for what I do. Or more specifically, for me.
2. The only limit on what I can do is myself and my own fears (substantial enough).
3. I'm not sure what I'm attracting, but I'm attracting it like mad.

This is all good. But scary as hell.

Yesterday, as I was fighting guilt for spending money on myself, I told myself over and over that all the money I was spending was going to come back to me in overwhelming amounts. That opportunities were endless, and that there was a steady stream of success coming my way.

Checks in the mail.

So, it's just interesting that as soon as I come home, opportunities start pouring in. Hmm.

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The birthday celebration continued today. After a nice, long leisurely start to the day, we headed over to the city. Stopped at Macy's to exchange something, then walked up to Borders to get a book that Terri needed. Then, we wandered around a beautiful big gallery (with some really nice Chagall prints) for a little bit. Terri said she wanted to take me out for a 'real' birthday dinner since last night we did Lyon's (which was my idea, so it's sweet that she wanted to do something more). So we chose Il Forniao. Yum! The bread there is to die for.

Then we drove home and the puppy owner called. So we're all up to date.

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I can feel the overwhelm starting to creep over me. Like, what am I doing?? But then I remember: I'm building my new life. I want us to have a peaceful, joy-filled, soul-filled life. And that includes me doing a variety of wonderful things. This year is the practice year. I'm going to do EVERYTHING.

11 pm is also probably not the right time to determine if I have too much on my plate or not.

With that, good night. And thanks again, Universe. You rock!