Falling Apart and Picking Up Again; or, The Redemptive Power of Books and Carbs

Some days are just meant to be spent in bed.

This morning was bad. A big rush in the morning to get all my 'chores' done before 9 am when the delivery window started for the new fridge (our fridge was breaking down). I half-assed my way through the morning and then sat around at home for two hours while the delivery people did not come. Finally they came at 11:30; I was not pleased.

Then, the new fridge is somehow much smaller on the inside than the last one. This is extremely upsetting, since we barely have any groceries right now and they're literally crammed in there. Plus, I had to immediately run out to get an extension cord because there are no f-ing three-prong outlets in the kitchen (the old fridge was so old it didn't have a grounded plug!). So that was extremely annoying.

Once I realized how very smaller the fridge was, I just sort of fell apart. I really love our new apartment but so many things were left undone or sort of badly done before we've moved in, and I've put in considerable effort making things 'right' and this was just the last straw. I was so angry that I actually threw down the cord to the fridge and slammed the door as I went out to the steps to have a good cry. (flair for the dramatic? Who, me?)

I called the landlady and left a message, and then Terri saw how upset I was and ALSO called her. She called us back and is, I guess, going to come see the fridge and we'll see what can be done. (edited to add: I just talked to her; we are going to have a different fridge. In fact, I will go with her to pick it out. Thanks again, Universe. And to Terri, for watching out for me)

In the meantime, I was so upset and had no books that I wanted to read, so I took myself to the library.

Which was closed, until January 2nd.

That was it. Driving through Oakland on a blindingly sunny day, crying like a little child (cry, cry, stop, sniffle, then start crying all over again), I found my way to Dark Carnival, a local wonderful science fiction/fantasy bookstore. I asked the guy at the desk for two recommendations. Looking him in the eye, I said, "I would like two books. One that is scary. -- (pause) -- No really, I mean very scary. And the other, something sort of Charles de Lint-y."

The rumpled, taciturn man led me without a word to some random section and handed me two books. In The Woods and The Land of Laughs. They both sound excellent. I bought them. (I hate buying new books because I read them so quickly but hey, sometimes it's gotta be done)

Then I went next door to fancy grocery and bought some new tea (I am a tea addict) and some amazing crusty olive bread.

I had to munch some olive bread on the way home. Instantly, miraculously, my mood lifted.

Funny how new books and carbs can do that for you.

Anyway. So now I'm home, my cheeks burning from crying all morning, but I have a belly full of tea and bread and two new books that sound amazing just waiting to be opened. I think I will start one of them Right Now. As Neil Gaiman said (on the back cover of Land Of Laughs), "...for anyone who has ever believed that a favorite book could be a safe place to go when things get hard."

Now that could be my life motto, right there.