A Deep Sigh

There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.

All you need is love. And all I need is a break!

I've kind of petered out this week. I didn't do my last two days of poetry reading; just too tired. I'll make up for it over the weekend. I'm pretty creatively tapped out. I beaded until my hands literally hurt (and I'm still not quite done with The Big Order).

I still have so much that I want to do: paint my kitchen paintings, practice piano, make some new jewelry for myself (I've sold almost all my own pieces!), make some new jewelry for website and stores, do a little wardrobe revamping, finish The Artists Way, etc.

But this weekend, it's all about hibernation. Rejuvenation. Couch-potatoing. Nurturing. I was driving home and was thinking about what I need to do (or not do) this weekend to feel put back together. Some ideas:

• Hot baths with good-smelling bubbles
• Fresh new towels
• Sitting on the couch while Terri watches her Colts (playoffs) and do my 5- and 10-year plan
• Make my to-do lists for my business; what I need to do and what I want to manifest, both
• Do a little dreaming
• Get my hair done!
• Bead shopping; necessities and also for inspiration
• Visit a thrift store
• Read the new Oprah
• Make something luscious and creamy and delicious
• Make some healthy dinners
• Hot coffee and paper on Sunday
• Some exercise (visit the gym!)

I have a few chores to do, too, but I'm going to keep them to a minimum. I even took the weekend off cooking for M. I'm seriously thinking about quitting the cooking gig. I was toying with the idea, tonight, about just cutting back and only doing a little bit of cooking for her each week, but still bring in some money. I'm going to play with that idea. What I might do is offer her a choice: cut-back cooking from me, or full-scale cooking from this other woman who is interested.

Or maybe I'll just quit.

I have faith that the right solution will come to me; I just need to listen for what is the really right answer (and not just what I think I should do).

I'm feeling seriously creatively sapped from the past couple months. I have two more chapters of the Artists Way to get through (and then I want to do it over again, or maybe just select pieces). They might help. I also have another book from Julia Cameron (Artist's Way author) for helping with burnout and blocks; I should visit that. But I think what I need are some serious Artist Dates.

• Aforementioned thrift shopping
• Browsing in quirky gift stores
• Go to the ocean, the forest, somewhere new for inspiration
• Make some collages and see what happens
• Paint (haven't done much of that, it might be a good creative shift)
• Make something small and delightful just for myself
• Go to the art supply store
• Visit a museum
• Visit a couple art galleries
• Freeform journal

OK, so this is funny. I'm sitting on my couch writing this and I keep hearing this little tapping, or thumping, that sounds like it's coming from behind the couch. I finally look back there and Cleo is trapped - the couch keeps sliding back when we sit on it, and when I sat down this time, she was back there and got stuck. All I could see around the corner of the couch was a little black ear and part of her pink nose, and one desperate little paw clawing the air. I scooted forward and she was outta there right quick. Silly kitty. Well, I guess silly couch, and poor little trapped kitty.

With that, it's time to figure out what wonderful thing to make for dinner. I think I'm going to make brown-rice stuffed red peppers, some green beans with sauteed shiitake mushrooms, and then maybe a noodle kugel for dessert. That's the plan. I might just make the dessert part. 'Cause it's all about easy and fun and good, this weekend.