Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Heart's Desire

How do you know when you're face-to-face with your heart's desire? I know when I get that deep, slightly melancholy tugging in my chest. When I tear up for no reason. Or when joy suddenly bubbles up.

I'm reading a book called, "The Magic Cottage." It's about, of course, a little magic cottage in the center of a beautiful forest in the English countryside. The woman in the story falls absolutely head over heels in love with this cottage. However, since it's a horror novel, I'm sure there will be much darkness and madness to come. But, I haven't gotten to that part yet. It's all about the charming enchanted cottage in the woods.

And I want one. With flowers and a path and trees, and a good kitchen and a big yard and open space nearby.

I went to a hand/palm reader on Saturday. I've never done this before. I was very pleasantly surprised. She told me, in short, that I'm meant to be a very successful artist/businesswoman. That I'm meant to *do* art, to work with my deep imaginative unconscious. That I'll be very happy and successful doing this. Among other things.

What I've always wanted is this: to be an artist, and to have my own business. Coincidence?

Art and livelihood. Home and family. That's what I really, really want. My heart's desire.

Oh, did I mention the woman in the story is a children's book illustrator? Another tug.

Today, stepping out of my near-charming new apartment, the late-summer light shining on the roses and petunias, I felt that deep pulling melancholy lightened by something else: hope.

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