Thursday, March 26, 2009

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To A Meltdown

I have been so tired lately. So. Tired. WTF? Seriously. So I'm taking some steps to remedy this. Mostly it involves not doing much. I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not very good at Not Doing Stuff. I don't enjoy it. What I do enjoy is doing stuff that makes me happy. But when I'm so tired that I can't even do that, things are bad. I start to have meltdowns. Large and small. Mini-meltdowns numerous times throughout the day. It's tiring. It's a bad cycle.

I had one the other night. Then the very sweet and wise doctor that I live with reminded me of my plan to Not Worry About It for at least six months. Oh yeah! I totally forgot about that! (being tired also means short attention span and memory loss, apparently).

So once I was reminded of this, suddenly I started to see all kinds of cool things right in front of me. My books are filled with amazing images that I want to paint. My neighborhood has all these great streets that I want to run around in. The library has entire sections of books that I want to read. The thrift stores are filled with funky fashion finds that won't break the bank.

Fun stuff. All right there. For when you're not having a meltdown.

I was reading The Wood Wife last night and it is so full of amazing images; I want to get out large pieces of paper and pastels and get down these ideas. I really, really want to have an art show, even just a little one in a coffeeshop. I want to have an Etsy shop. I want to do more creative things. I want to stop living in fear that this creative life I want won't Be Enough.

The truth is, right now we have enough. And there's no reason why I can't do what I want.

So. I'm reminding myself: The Six Month Plan Which Isn't A Plan. Just do the fun stuff that I want, and don't worry about it.

Starting today (again). Right now!


Stefanie said...

I'm not very good at not doing stuff either. Trying to have a creative life is a scary thing because it goes against the grain of what we are told we should do. But you are talented and there is no reason why you can't be successful. Just take one day at a time.

Nymeth said...

It's amazing how often Not Worrying About It works :)

Miss D. said...

Stefanie: thanks! I needed to hear that. I'm terrible at Not Doing. I've been trying to Do it all day, failing miserably..

Nymeth: it's so true!!