Holidays 2009: Got It Right This Time

I have some photos, but I'm too lazy to upload them. Maybe later.

I have to say, this was the nicest holiday season I can remember since moving here to California. Possibly in my adult life -- is that crazy to say? Here's why:

Last year's holiday season was so awful. Just dreadful. From just before Thanksgiving all the way through New Year's, it sucked. I was determined to make this holiday season a nice one -- not overstuffed and stressful and trying-too-hard, but really nice and enjoyable. That's been my motto all year -- just trying to enjoy things rather than trying too hard.

So what did I do to make it so great?

1. I handmade almost all my gifts. One would think that this might make it more stressful, but it made it less stressful. I chose things that I thought everyone would actually enjoy (and wouldn't just be more stuff), and they were all easy and fun to make, and I gave myself all month to do it. I found this to be much more enjoyable than shopping. Also, much less expensive (and therefore, less stressful). And hopefully, more meaningful to the recipients.

2. I did only the things I wanted to do, and made sure to include the things I really wanted to do. I made a few batches of cookies, but when tempted to make one more batch (which I wasn't in the mood to make), I decided not to. I didn't spend very much time shopping (which, I think, was key for the enjoyment factor of the past month). We got a tree, which we really love. We did a little bit of decorating, but not too much. Just enough. I went to a holiday concert with a friend. I watched a couple silly holiday movies. I didn't over-plan for Christmas dinner. When it became obvious that Terri wasn't up for the big family party, we scaled it waaaay back. It worked out very well.

3. Sounds cheesy, but I really focused on all the good things we have to celebrate this year rather than all the negative/scary/frustrating stuff I could focus on. There's plenty of that stuff to worry about. But I really wanted to enjoy myself this holiday season, so I just decided to focus on enjoying things and being thankful. It really worked. I feel like we are so rich and lucky. I had only two days where I felt that icky holiday stress. One was the day I had to buy a new sewing machine, and the other was at the grocery store when everyone was pissed and stressed out and I almost got sucked into the bad energy. Other than that -- it was pretty dang nice.

It all culminated with a very nice Christmas Eve spent running a few errands and shopping for groceries (the stressful trip - seriously, Berkeley Bowl people, take it easy!), and doing a tiny bit of last-minute shopping with Terri, which was fun.

Christmas Day was perfect. I slept in, and then went and did the few petsitting jobs I had to do. Came back and got back into bed to read while Terri slept in with the kitties. Once she woke up, we had our stockings. Santa decided to keep the stockings strictly practical and/or delicious, so I got a magazine and some special imported candies which I really like but never have, and Terri got some favorite treats and a brain teaser book. We both got new toothbrushes. :)

After we both woke up a little, we warmed up the living room and went out to open gifts. We had wonderful presents from everyone, including each other. Mostly practical and much-needed/appreciated, plus a few fun items such as a beautiful snowy owl necklace from Terri (photo from the artist's Etsy page) and a Wii from my fabulous brother!! The rest of the afternoon was spent playing with the Wii, completely wearing ourselves out. We're both actually sore today!

Our lovely and low-key friends Vanessa and Steve came over for Christmas dinner. The menu was really great: spinach dip, salad, butternut squash gratin, pesto pasta, mashed potatoes, roasted beets, and fresh homemade caramel corn for dessert. Then we snuggled in to the living room to watch Elf, and then they went home and we went to bed to watch a Buffy episode and ended the night watching National Lampoon's Christmas and talking about what a nice Christmas we had.

I have to say, on this day after Christmas, I am extremely happy, grateful, thankful, content and peaceful. Which is a pretty dang nice way to end the year, and the perfect antidote to last year's badness. It was a rough year in many respects, and we missed our Tiger Little very much, but I worked really hard to make last year a good one and in spite of the rough patches, I think I succeeded. I'm actually looking forward to next year! Now that's an accomplishment.

Coming up next: the Year In Books review, and plotting out the upcoming year. Hope you all had nice holidays, no matter what you celebrate, and although I'm feeling a bit computered-out, I'm going to try to catch up with blogs in the next day or two. I'm a bit out of the loop. But happy!

A Christmas Meme

Because I have holiday-brain and am now officially in the Christmas spirit... a Christmas meme from Barefoot Mama who got it from someone else...

Eggnog or Hot Chocolate?

That's a tough one. I like eggnog in my coffee this time of year (I limit myself to one carton per season), and I like hot chocolate instead of dessert during the holidays. Because frankly I'm starting to get sick of baked goods by now.

Does Santa wrap the presents or leave them open under the tree?

Santa always left a few wrapped presents under our tree. I think everything was always wrapped. Sometimes he would even leave a candy-cane trail. And of course would always sample the cookies left out on the mantel. We had a wood stove and I was always very concerned about how Santa would get down the narrow pipe... I can't remember how that one was explained. Probably "magic."

Colored lights on a tree or white?

I like white lights but Terri likes the old-fashioned big colored ones. Actually I like those too, since that is what we had when I was growing up, plus bubble lights. I would like to find some of those bubble lights. The tree just has to have lights -- it doesn't really matter which color, I suppose! I wish I had planned ahead to put white lights on our mantel, but oh well.

Do you hang mistletoe?

When I have it. Sometimes someone brings some in to work to share (from up in Sonoma County). At home in Oregon you can find it in lots of trees.

When do you put your decorations up?

Usually around December 10th-ish, or whenever we get the tree. I can only take a few weeks of Christmas. I like it to feel special, and not get used to the decorations/tree. We got our tree on the 14th, this year, I think. It comes down about a week after New Year's.

What is your favorite holiday dish?

Well, cookies. And my great-grandma's coffeecake. I don't really have any special holiday dinner dishes that I'm particularly attached to. There's a special salad which we like which is becoming "holiday salad" -- other than that, if there's potatoes and dessert, I'm good.

Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?

We usually did growing up, and Terri and I open up pajamas on Christmas Eve. I like that tradition. But just one.

How do you decorate your Christmas tree?

Ever since we were born, my mom has given my brother and me a Christmas ornament every year. Once we were old enough, we got to choose our ornament. So I grew up having a very treasured collection of ornaments which I absolutely love, even the funny little raggedy ones from when I was little. Each one has a story. As I got older, I started to gravitate towards very pretty, showy glass balls as my ornament. My mom still chooses one for us, which I think is so sweet and I look forward to it every year. I sort of assumed I would take over the tradition and buy it for myself, but it's really nice that my mom still does it. So our tree is full of very pretty glass balls, a few 1970s-style doll ornaments, two made-by-me kindergarten ornaments (a Santa and a pre-PC-in-schools baby Jesus). Terri is starting to collect some now too -- so we are getting a very nice collection of ornaments. I think we're starting to lean towards a bird theme now... but I'm not sure.

Snow. Love it or hate it?

I love snow. I got plenty when I lived in Finland, but other than that, growing up we only had a few days of snow a year. Of course here in Oakland we never have snow, except every once in awhile in the hills. We had some a few weeks ago! I do love it. I like weather of any kind. I get very tired of same-old-same-old sunny-and-nice all the time. Lately the weather has been terrific - cold, sunny or cloudy, a bit of rain -- variable. Oh, but I'm getting off-topic...

Can you ice skate?

Yes, but nothing fancy. I do love to skate though. I also love to ski!

What is your favorite holiday dessert?

I do love holiday cookies, especially gingerbread. I also like cherry cheesecake, which was a traditional dessert in my family growing up. I like pretty much any holiday dessert. Yep.

What is your favorite holiday tradition?

Hmm. Probably choosing and decorating the tree. When I first moved to California, my ex-husband and I didn't have a tree usually. No room, and he didn't care that much. I really missed it -- it doesn't feel like Christmas without a tree. I think Terri and I have had a tree every year we've been together. When I was growing up we always went to the u-cut place to choose our tree and cut it down together. For FIVE DOLLARS. (smacks forehead, thinking of how much trees are simply one state away...) I love choosing the tree, setting it up and getting all the decorations out and up.

I also like making at least one batch of gingerbread cookies, and I actually like wrapping gifts as well.

Candy Canes. Yum or yuck?

I'm really not into candycanes. They make me kind of sick.

***

A few notes about Christmas. Although my upbringing was not very religious, my grandmother (dad's mom) was Baptist (but a kinder, gentler Baptist) and so we had lots of emphasis on the Christmas story, which I absolutely loved. I loved singing religious carols and learning to play them on the piano, and I loved the Christmas books my grandma would give us, beautifully illustrated with the Nativity story. I do love that story. I loved all the Christmas stories -- the religious ones, the Santa ones, all the gentle children's stories that come out this time of year. Especially if it involved animals.

So, even though I'm not particularly Christian, I love the Christmas story and I love the message, so I feel perfectly comfortable celebrating Christmas in our household. I think about my grandma, whom I loved, and I like carrying on certain family traditions, like the ornaments.

I've always been fascinated with Solstice celebrations (Yule logs, etc.) and so I'd like to incorporate more of that as well in the future... but no matter what holiday you celebrate, this time of year is a time for enjoying yourself, being thankful, spending time with family and friends and resting up through the darkness. Which we are doing, and I'm very happy.

This year I handmade the majority of the gifts I'm giving, and that feels fantastic. I've only had one day of holiday stress -- the rest of it I've completely enjoyed. So... mission accomplished!

I'm off to enjoy the GIANT stack of books I just got from the library, nibble on some Chex mix, and watch some holiday movies.

Peace on Earth, good will to all!

'Tis The Season... for many holidays

(I suppose this might be a rant. Be forewarned.)

Usually I think of myself as pretty quiet. Kind of a keep-my-mouth-shut kind of person. But there are a few select instances where I just can't keep my mouth shut; specifically when faced with bigotry, closed-mindedness, prejudice or injustice. I'm just about ready to burst so I need to write about it here in my blog, which is the best platform I can think of where I can write without worrying that I'll get attacked from all sides.

There was a thread on Facebook from some old schoolmates of mine, talking about how at a particular small-town school near where I grew up, they are having an "actual Christmas program" this year, as opposed to a Holiday program. This is all fine and good, whatever. There are, in reality, probably not a lot of Jewish, Islamic, or pagan kids at this particular school. There is this leeetle matter of separation of church and state, and it is a public school, but again, whatever. Merry Christmas.

What got me feeling riled up were the follow-up comments, saying things like, "So it will actually be Merry Christmas!" "And there will actually be Santa!" "There's a real Christmas tree!" and my favorite, "It's about time we stopped having to please the non-believers!" Um, again I say, this is a PUBLIC SCHOOL. Not a Christian school. P-U-B-L-I-C.

Around this time, my blood started to boil and I had to really, really work hard not to make any further comment than this: "I remember growing up in (my small town) and we had a Christmas program, which I loved, but I also remember learning the dreidel song and some Solstice traditions as well, which has stayed with me all my life." This is true. In my itty-bitty, hard-workin' logging town, where this particular acquaintance is also from, we had a pretty open holiday program. We sang some carols, some secular Christmas songs, and we also made dreidels and Yule logs, and talked about winter holiday celebrations of cultures all over the world. Heck, we even sang Feliz Navidad. In Spanish. I think that's pretty cool. I was raised to be respectful and appreciative of all cultures -- even though I lived in a teeny-tiny logging town. So I know it's possible no matter where you grow up. This was not a particularly liberal town, either. This is Philomath, Oregon. (for the record, I love my hometown dearly)

I don't have a problem with this acquaintance, or their choice to post about this on Facebook, and I don't even really have a problem with the kids being able to celebrate Christmas at their school. But I have noticed a trend on Facebook (and other places) which is really upsetting me.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS, everyone! Not Happy Holidays! It's CHRISTMAS!"

"I have a CHRISTMAS TREE. Not a Holiday Tree. Only Christians have Christmas trees." (note: huh? what?)

"I think the White House should have a CHRISTMAS tree, not a holiday tree. It's America! We're Christians!"

You see how this is going.

What bothers me is not so much that these folks want to have their Christmas traditions -- go for it! I'm all for it. I celebrate Christmas, myself. I have no problem with celebrating Christmas and the birth of Jesus and anything else you want to celebrate. Put up a gigantic Nativity scene on your lawn! I'll drive by and applaud it.

But it's the assumption that Christmas is the only holiday in December -- or worse, that it's the only holiday worth celebrating and acknowledging. This is what makes me angry and offended to the core. Maybe they're just upset that they haven't been able to celebrate Christmas at their school in the past. But I don't think that's it. Something about "...not having to please the non-believers!" makes me suspect that there wouldn't be similar outrage if a family was upset about not having a menorah represented along with the Christmas tree.

A Christmas tree is not exactly outlined in the Bible as a Christian tradition. Neither, I might add, is Santa. These are secular traditions, with non-Christian roots, adapted by Christians and added to religious celebrations. You don't have to be Christian to have a holiday tree. I have quite a few friends who are Jewish who have a Christmas/Holiday/Whatever tree. Who doesn't like a gorgeous, decorated tree? It's beautiful and brings awe and delight. Let's have one. Call it a Christmas tree at your house. (call it a Christmas tree at MY house!) But not everyone celebrates Christmas.

What bothers me about this trend, and about other trends like "Make English America's National Language!" and so on, is the underlying message of "You are not like us. Your culture/language/skin color/tradition is not worth including."

But really, who is "us"? Last time I checked, America is a pretty diverse place, with people from all cultures and languages coming together. We set up our nation to welcome people from elsewhere (lawfully, of course). It is in our constitution that people should be free to worship and celebrate their religion without fear of persecution. Yes, that includes Christians... but I don't see any threat to Christmas. Have you looked around lately? Um, it's everywhere.

I just don't see how including celebrations and traditions and religions from many cultures should be threatening. I don't see why this is a problem. I really, truly, do not understand.

It's not just Christmas. It's what I hear on the news, it's what I hear from certain friends and relatives, it's what I see on Fox News and Facebook and street corners. You Are Not Like Us. Quit your whining and be happy we're not lynching you. Want to get married? Ha, ha -- your beloved is not of the opposite sex. No dice. Want to save yourself and an unwanted child from a lifetime of poverty and abuse? Well, you'll have to risk being shot by pro-lifers to go in to Planned Parenthood. Lost your job and your health? No health care for you! Too bad, so sad, your bad luck. These things are Other and would never happen to me or my family, praise the Lord.

I just can't stand that stuff. I think Jesus also said, that so long as ordinary people stand up for the right things and do not retreat from those who seem to have more power, what's right will prevail. Jesus is all about peace, and understanding, and helping the downtrodden and overlooked and persecuted. Right? (for a really interesting article about this, click here) So the fact that so many of these anti-humanitarian, hateful sentiments are expressed from people who also claim to be Christian, is almost more than I can bear. So I have to say something. And I'm saying it now.

I'm glad those kids at that school get to sing Christmas carols. I just hope that if a Jewish family comes to town and wants to light some candles for Hanukkah along side the giant stuffed Santa, they won't get any guff.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays, Peace on Earth, Goodwill to ALL people (including the ones I'm currently crabby about).

Recipe for Happy Imperfection

Take two little girls, one creative Auntie Daphne, a batch of cookies, some frosting and random candies, and some ingenuity, and you get a perfect lesson in happy imperfection.

Witness: our beautifully decorated holiday cookies:

If I had done these myself, I would have needed to try and make them "perfect." And I would have missed the point completely. These are so exuberant and crazy; I love them.

We had a bunch of frosting leftover, so I made a small "gingerbread" house out of an empty tissue box and a cut-up cookie box, held together with snipped-up bandaids because we couldn't find any tape.
(if you're ever in a pinch for tape, bandaids work pretty good) The girls then got to decorate the house. They did such a good job working together, it was adorable.

I used to love to make gingerbread houses. FYI: cardboard works pretty great. Yes, this is Santa's disembodied head peeking out the window.


We had crazy red, green and white frosting. The house is... um, colorful.

So, if you need some distraction from holiday madness and want to witness pure joy, just grab a couple of cute kids....
...leave your need for perfection and order at the door, and have some fun.

'Tis the season, after all.