Thursday, January 01, 2009

First Day

Happy first day of the year.

I'm fresh out of patience and good cheer (good intentions seem to be hanging on, but by a thread), but I'm always up for a good book. Thank goodness my prayers have been answered. In The Woods is excellent. I'm racing through it. I don't even want to read any other reviews of it because I don't want to know what happens.

So, I'm not making any resolutions, but clearly I need to take some steps to take care of myself. Here is my plan:

1. Start the Detox Diet again (one week of fruits, veggies and rice, plus various supplements). I feel the need to start fresh. I'll start on Saturday, once we have the new fridge. No room for veggies right now!

2. Read lots. I find reading to be rejuvenating.

3. Sleep. More.

4. Ignore as much as I can. Sometimes careful use of denial can be helpful. Especially when you are a Take Care Of Everything person such as myself.

5. Be selfish.

It's interesting being so close to outright crabbiness all the time. I'm usually so not like this. But apparently, I have reached my limits. It makes prioritization very easy. I'm probably not much fun to be around. I feel very decisive, however. I feel very unlike myself.

I think there are some lessons to be learned from this. I am very uninterested in learning them. I just want to read my book and shut out everything else.

I was wondering when this would happen. I think we just needed to move, get the house put together, and then I could let myself rest. My body and psyche has decided that the house is settled enough, and that now it is time to make my world very small. A book, a chair, a fire, some healthy food. And bed. Bed is very important. I am completely uninterested in self-improvement or 'shoulds' of any kind. It's kind of refreshing.

I'm swearing a lot. Which is sort of fun.

Isn't life interesting? You think you are one way, and then you get pushed so far that your direction has to change. And then you discover all new pieces of yourself. I'm kind of enjoying this side of myself. I don't know if anyone else is, but it's very refreshing to have zero tolerance for anything.

Back to work on Monday, and then the real fun begins! People will not know what to do with me. I'm rather looking forward to that.


Anonymous said...

Good for you Daph! I think you've outlined an excellent plan of self-care. Read your book, eat your rice, and sleep, sleep, sleep.



Eva said...

LOVE your resolutions! I'm going vegan for the first three months of this year (to try it out and decide if I want to be one permanently), so that Detox Diet sounds really neat. And the other four are just great. :)

Daphne said...

Lara: thanks. I feel like I need six months in bed, but probably a weekend would do. Next weekend! For sure!

Eva: This is a great detox plan, it's called something stupid like The 7-Day Detox Miracle or something awful like that, but it's very simple and last time I did it I felt so much better by the end of the week. So it's definitely in order. I like cheese too much to be a vegan but 80% works pretty well for me. :)