White Rice and Bananas, Baby!

In addition to being cautious about insoluble fiber and fat, and avoiding dairy and the deadly (to me) sugar/fat combination, I'm also supposed to watch my food intake rate, because too MUCH food at once hurts my tummy just as much. Geez.

This is difficult when basically I'm eating rice and pretzels as my main chow. I am starting off the day with a fruit/soymilk/vitamin smoothie. But I get hungry, you know?

So for dinner tonight, I was going to make some rice (woohoo!). But I was hungry so I ate a small piece of my very tummy-friendly applesauce spice bread. Then I thought, well, I need to eat this up because it's going to dry out soon. So I had another piece, and then I figured I might as well make this my dinner since it has more nutritional value than plain rice, so I ate the last bit.

And now my tummy hurts.

What? Too much overall (I ate the equivalent of about a regular sandwich)? Too much sugar? Did the raisins get me?

Does this happen to regular people? I was thinking about this today, and it is rare that I have a day where my tummy isn't upset.

What a drag. It'll get better, I just have to keep at it. Truly, I'm not committed enough right now. I keep thinking I can sneak my way out of it and bend the rules. Clearly, not.

Anyway. Enough about my tummy.

You know what (else) I was thinking about today? That for all my whining and complaining, I'm pretty lucky to live in the Bay Area. Lots of people would love to live here. It's actually not bad at all. Lots of cool people, lots of diversity, tons of great food, tons of things to do, nice weather (actually, I tend to hate the non-weather we have here, but at least it's not BAD weather, like icky muggy hot or freezing freezing cold), low pollution.. it's really not too bad. I've lived here for almost 8 years (something like that, maybe it's closer to 9!!) and I've never accepted it. I get so intensely homesick that I can't even see how wonderful it is to be here. (traffic and housing aside)

Then I realized that part of why I won't let myself attach is because I'm trying to avoid that pain of leaving someplace that I love. So I just won't let myself love it. I'm doing that relationship thing, only with a geographical area. Truth be told, I'm pretty attached to Alameda. I think it's pretty great. And I like the city a whole lot. I could live there. And, as I was reminded tonight by a friend's broken sewer line, it's not that bad a deal to rent, sometimes.

I don't know how long we'll be in this apartment... hopefully, our next move will be to someplace large enough where we can stay (and expand the family without having to move). But it might take a little bit of time for Terri to find a good-paying job, and then to find the perfect place. So we'll probably be here for the rest of this year at least, I would think. So why not love it a little bit? Why not put up some more pictures and add some color to the bathroom and maybe get a rug for the living room? Why not make this the best, most charming little place it can be?

In fact, why not let myself love the Bay Area a little bit? (just considering that makes my heart hurt a bit) Just because I love it doesn't mean I want to marry it, right? I can love it and still be open to other places that might present themselves to us in time.

Here is what I really do love about the Bay Area:

• Golden Gate Park
• All the San Francisco landmarks: the bridge, North Beach, the cable cars, etc.
• Alameda and all it's charm
• The Presidio
• Hiking in the Oakland hills
• Mt. Tam and the little beachy West Marin communities
• All the terrific food and food resources
• The abundance of woo-woo spirituality practitioners and opportunities
• The diversity of cultures and people
• Terrific opportunities for art and artists
• Pelicans

I'm sure there's more, but it's a start. I'm going to try and open my heart to this place that I live. I feel like I'm betraying my beloved Oregon, but it's okay. I can love BOTH places.