Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Having Faith

I realize now that what I really, really want, what I’ve always really wanted, is to make pretty, fun things, and sell them. Jewelry, paintings, illustrations, crafty things… even food. I want to be my own artsy-fartsy businesswoman, making people really happy with things that delight them.

This can also be services. I am loving the pet-sitting gigs. I’d like to take extra-special care of pets. I’d love to be Not Just Your Ordinary Pet-Sitter. I’d like to spend the last day at the client’s house cooking and leave a fridge full of nice food. I’d like to make pet beds and toys and treats and have that be part of my business, too.

I’d like to give classes. On dreams, and art, and how to have fun cooking and camping.

That’s the thing – the thing I’ve always had trouble with. I don’t want to do just ONE thing. I want to do ALL these things! I want to spend most of my day creating, or learning new things, or making things, or updating my websites and blogs, cooking, meeting new clients, being inspired. I want to be inspirational. I want to be of value. Of service. I want to do Big Things.

And, it’s got to be said, I want to make a good living at it. Enough. More than enough. Enough to give me time to do all these things. No starving-artist here. I don’t want a crazy richie-rich lifestyle. But I do want some security, a house, time to run my business. I’ve got a number in my head that would be ‘enough’. And I’d like to surpass it.

I want to have flexibility to have a family, run a home, and do all kinds of wonderful creative business-y things, too.

I want to see the world as filled with possibilities.

You know, it’s funny. I’ve been feeling so very, very stuck. Muddy. Unclear. Discouraged. Heavy. And then, after struggling and struggling to force things, I just let it go. I figured I needed a break. And so voila -- yesterday and today: Abundance. Phone calls and emails and invitations and possibilities; more than I can do at once! Clear signs pointing to Yes.

Thanks, Universe. What a blessing it is to have faith.

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