Sunday, August 30, 2009

A Very Productive Day

Wow. Today was very productive. After doing some chores and such this morning, I got out the sewing machine and got to work.

First I made some pillow covers. Our couch (as you can see) is sort of a terra-cotta color. I fell in love with these fabrics at the cheap fabric store ($3 a yard!). Somehow I made them too big so they look a little deflated here. I went and got bigger inserts from IKEA, and they look better now. Terri thought they looked like pillows that had had bariatric surgery and lost a ton of weight suddenly. But don't you love the paisley? I'm really into paisley right now.

Then I made tiebacks for our new blackout curtains. This was super-simple. I just used the fabric which I cut off the bottom of the curtains when I hemmed them, and made the ties. Made a huge difference because I tell you, these curtains do not let in ANY light.

Then I altered a few pairs of pj bottoms which my mom had made me a few months ago. I had found some really pretty fabrics for very cheap, and my beautiful mother made me some really cute pj's. However, they didn't fit right (since I wasn't there to be the model) -- they were too high-waisted (I'm very short-waisted). I figured out that if I could take a couple of inches off the rise, and make them more low-waisted, they would fit perfectly. So I'd been thinking about this for awhile, since I am not talented enough to easily make waistbands yet. I finally figured I'd just give it a try.

Although it was very simple to do, it's hard to write about how I did it. I folded and pinned the waistband until it fit correctly, then took them off and marked where they needed to be. Cut, pin, re-sew...
and, voila! Just like new! This is the original waistband, just lower.

And now, here's how to lose 15 pounds in 20 minutes. On the left, the before. That's a good inch or so above my bellybutton. On the right, after. Woohoo! (that's not a nip, it's a paint smear. D'oh!)

Now I've totally got the sewing bug and I need to figure out some new projects. Terri has requested some flannel pj's, and I still need to make that big easy quilt. And... oh, so many fun projects. I need some better sewing skills. I'd like to get Amy Karol's Bend The Rules Sewing. Maybe the library has it?

Random Updates

1. Wow, I am really behind on comments-commenting, and catching up on blog-reading. I had to finish up my book club book, "Madapple" by last night when a fellow bookclubber was going to borrow my book, so I had a deadline. Hopefully tonight I'll spend some time catching up.

2. Our little kitty had a mini-seizure last night, poor thing. It was just a little one, but apparently can happen with cancers. Thankfully she didn't seem to know anything had happened and is fine today. Breaks my heart, but we are so thankful to have this time with her.

3. It has been HOT. I have to say, the blackout curtains in the bedroom made a huge difference. The cats were grateful (as were we!).

4. I am going to sew today (dammit). I have two pillow covers, some pj bottoms and an easy quilt to make. I have to first stop by the thrift shop, however, to get a blanket to fill the quilt. I'm going old-school easy on this one.

5. And lastly, I have been seized by the music bug. A bunch of favorites are coming to play in Oakland this fall: Bon Iver, Echo & the Bunnymen, the Pixies... sooooo tempting. I'd like to see at least one show, I haven't been to see music in forever.

That's all. Now I'm off to start the day and get some stuff done! Terri has a PET brain scan tomorrow and has to eat a low-to-zero carb/high protein diet the rest of today and tomorrow until the scan. Kinda difficult for a vegetarian with selective (ahem) tastes, but we'll figure it out. Just one day. The PET scan should be interesting (I think it's actually a SPECT scan? I could be wrong). Oh, the joy of medical tests.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Book: Feel The Fear... And Do It Anyway (and reading update)

I wouldn't have ordinarily read this (well, maybe I would have skimmed it) except that a few nights ago I had NOTHING TO READ so I went out to our stacks in search of something light and quick, so that I could get through it quickly before I got my new library books. This jumped out at me, so I thought, well, why not.

It was pretty good. The first parts were better than the latter parts. I was all on-board with the affirmations and the idea that what you tell yourself eventually comes true in one way or another. I get that. No problem.

However, once she started veering off into The Secret-like territory, I got kind of turned off. I do believe that (to a certain degree) manifesting works (it's also called magic, you know... just an aside), but even though I use some of the tricks in my own life (with varying results -- however, it does seem to work well for parking), I felt like it got a little bit over the top with the "All you need to do is think positively, and everything will be great!".

However, I still liked it. Some of the ideas I appreciated the most were:

At the bottom of every one of your fears is simply the fear that you can't handle whatever life may bring you. And you can handle it!!

Women have been conditioned to believe that to be powerful is unfeminine and unattractive. It is my experience that nothing could be further from the truth.

As another ancient sage once said, “The pathway is smooth. Why do you throw rocks before you?”

“Shoulds” bring on guilt and upset—totally draining emotions. Your power is taken every time you utter the words “I should.”

Taking responsibility means never blaming anyone else for anything you are being, doing, having, or feeling. AND Taking responsibility means not blaming yourself… Anything that takes away your power or your pleasure makes you a victim. Don’t make yourself a victim of yourself!

I also really liked the section on decision-making. While I would call myself a fairly decisive person generally, I know that in certain areas I can be quite a waffler. For some reason lately I've been seized with this terror that I will choose incorrectly and wreck everything. I think perhaps the string of bad luck has been working its evil ways upon me. So I was cheered to see her thoughts on this: There are no bad decisions! If you choose something and it doesn't work for you, you can choose again. Who says you have to make a straight line to your goal?

(please note: I think this sort of thinking is utter bullshit in some arenas, however, for the relatively minor decisions such as "do I go back to school?" or "should I apply to enter this art contest?" it works pretty well)

It goes something like this: rather than win/lose or lose/lose (or right/wrong, whatever), what if you looked at the decision as win/win? For me, I tried applying it to my question about whether to finally make up my damn mind and choose a program and get that masters' degree after all this time. Previously, it went something like this: "If I choose wrongly, then I will be stuck in a program that I don't like, and I will have wrecked my current career for nothing, and I will be left with nothing at all." Or perhaps something like this, "My whole life and our comfort and security depends upon my making the correct choice. This is a huge decision. I need to be very, very careful."

Right. No pressure!

But if I think about it like this: "So what? I just decide to try this program. I have all the requirements. If I get in, great. Next step. If not, oh well. Try something else." Much better. Suddenly it's not such a big deal. If it's not the right thing or it doesn't work out -- OH WELL.

This feels better.

Would I recommend this book? Sure. Why not. No big deal, right? Just kidding. It's a nice soft version of the maniacal positive-thinking self-help stuff that was so popular a few years ago. It seemed helpful. Overly simple, as any of this sort of thing generally tends to be, but I liked the affirmations and statements (helpful for pumping ones' self up before a big meeting or test or decision), and quite an easy read. If you are feeling powerless and sort of paralyzed by a decision, I would this this might be empowering and helpful.

However, I'm very happy to go back to my novels, thank you very much.

Also: I decided to see how I was doing on my goal of reading 75 books this year. Last year I read 73. I'm currently at 53 (working on 54). This time last year, I was also working on 54. Which is strange -- the exact same number. What's that... about a book and a half a week? However, I think I was doing better reading last year. Bigger books, better writers. I just feel like I was liking the books more. This has felt like an 'off' reading year -- maybe it has something to do with the impulse-checkout selection at my little local library (you know, the ones featured by the checkout desk), which I haven't tended to like (the ones I pick up on impulse, that is). I'll be interested when I do my end-of-the-year round up what books I choose as favorites. I've also been trying to branch out a little in my reading and maybe that hasn't been working for me so much.

Anyway -- 21 more books in 4 months? I think I can do it. Helped along by a massive consumption of RIP books, of course. Also helped by the fact that I (hopefully) will not be orchestrating a god-awful move right around holiday season.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Some Bookish Thoughts; And, We Have a Ghost!

So here's my dilemma. It's RIP time and I want to jump right in. But silly me requested some amazing books from the library which I have in my hot little hands, including The Godfather, which I really want to read. Do I start them and race through, and start RIP a little late? Or do I make a note of them and get them after RIP is done? ... so difficult to decide...

I finished "Feel The Fear... And Do It Anyway!" (which I did NOT search out, I have to say -- it sort of jumped out at me from our shelves and I was desperate for something to read). It was good, and I kinda liked it, but I don't know if it's the sort of book you review. Does one review self-help books? I don't know. Maybe I should just feel the unsureness... and do it anyway? (couldn't resist that one)

However, in other news, we have a ghost! Apparently. So, in a desperate attempt to get Terri some sleep, we got blackout curtains (Tupplur -- they are FANTASTIC). So our bedroom has been DARK. Like, seriously very very dark. Can't-see-your-hand-in-front-of-your-face dark. Which is good. At least, it's that dark until your eyes adjust, and then it's merely very (very) dark, but you can still see some vague outlines by the windows.

So last night Terri wakes up (obviously they didn't work all THAT well) and looks over at the windows. She sees "me" (as in me, Daphne) standing by the window with my arm over my head. She wonders what I am doing, and looks at me for a long time, trying to figure out why I'm standing there. Finally, she says, in a very curious voice, "...Sweetie?" This is when I wake up -- in bed next to her!! -- and say, "Yes? What's up?" And she jumps about a mile out of bed and says, "I just saw a figure by the window!! I thought it was you!" She was so surprised that I was actually in bed. By that time the figure is gone.

Strangely, neither of us are freaked out by this (except in theory) -- we're both just kind of like, "cool! a ghost!" So we shall see if the ghost comes back. Still, kind of awesome. I wonder what it's doing here?

(I have to say that if *I* see the ghost, I will probably completely freak out)

And finally, tonight I went to the Berkeley Farmer's Market, which is a thing of beauty this time of year. Amazing tomatoes and peaches everywhere... fresh honey, cheese, figs, etc. I got a basket of perfume-y black mission figs and ate half the container on the way home. Yum. Seriously. I wish I'd had my camera, the produce was incredible. I also got some vegetarian Mexican food for dinner (we are experiencing extreme blankness on dinner ideas -- it's late summer, pre-fall, and I'm out of inspiration). Which is okay, but not as amazing as I'd hoped. Still, it's better than quinoa or garbanzo beans AGAIN.

Monday, August 24, 2009

R.I.P. Already? Hooray!!


Just what I needed to perk up a lackluster, long day. Carl's R.I.P. IV challenge is starting! For some reason I thought I was going to have to wait until October. But no! Two whole months of nothing but spooky, scary, Gothic, mystery, suspenseful fun! I am sooooooo excited. And am wishing I had kept better track of all the books I was "holding for RIP"... oh well. Time to make a list. But first, which peril? I'll choose...

Well, I'll choose my own peril: All Scary All The Time.

So what's on my reading list? Let's see. I'll choose 10 and see how far I get.

1. The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins
2. Let The Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist
3. Roald Dahl's Book of Ghost Stories by Roald Dahl
4. Tales of the Unexpected by Roald Dahl
5. We Have Always Lived In The Castle by Shirley Jackson
6. Tamsin by Peter S. Beagle
7. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier (a re-read, but I've been looking forward to it all year)
8. The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
9. Hell House by Richard Matheson
10. An Agatha Christie, maybe And Then There Were None?

And then a few others because I got started looking at other people's pools from last year...

11. definitely a John Bellairs
12. Tales of Terror From The Black Ship by Chris Priestly
13. The Mysteries of Udolpho by Ann Radcliffe
14. Baltimore,; Or, the Steadfast Tin Soldier and the Vampire by Mike Mignola and Christopher Golden
15. The Amityville Horror by Jay Anson
16. Rosemary's Baby by Ira Levin
17. The Lonely Werewolf Girl by Martin Millar
18. The Night Country by Stewart O'Nan
19. a local 'ghost' book (there are lots of "Ghosts of Alameda" or "Ghosts of San Francisco" books around here)
20. The Sandman by Neil Gaiman (if I can find a good collection of the first in the series)

I might have to actually BUY a couple of these (horrors!) but now I'm going to go to the library site to see how many of these I can get from the library. However, that is an excellent excuse to go to Dark Carnival and Borderlands. Oh darn, I have to go to the bookstore. What a drag.

(grinning madly)

I'm also going to try to find a few more book blogs to read. I currently have a list of about 10, which I can barely keep up with. However, I'd like to find a few more like-minded souls. What are your favorite book blogs?

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Another Triumph!


Today we went to see Julie & Julia. We *loved* it. Adored it. Terri cried. We laughed. It was perfect. I want something fried in butter now.

However, the more wonderful thing is: WE WENT TO THE MOVIES. This is the first time we've gone to the movies together in... probably over two or three years. At least. That alone is worth celebrating!!

There is a very nice little movie theater just down the street from us (I love our neighborhood). Terri was not up for walking so we drove. I dropped her off in front of the theater (matinee, of course) and went and parked. Came back and she was feeling pretty woozy, so we were prepared to have to ditch the plans at any moment. However, she really wanted to go, and I really wanted to go, so we decided to give it a really good try. And success!!

It helped that we sat in the very back where no one was, and also that the theater was not very full (and was mostly elderly folks, very quiet and respectful, and who also seemed to enjoy the movie very much), and that it was such a sweet and wonderful movie (not at all loud or scary, which would be too much for a delicate, recovering nervous system). It was perfect. She made it through the whole movie and had a wonderful time. As did I.

As we walked back to the car (another triumph), Terri remarked,"One of the blessings of CFS is that I get to enjoy things so much more." It's true. We do not take anything for granted. Going to the movies is pretty dang exciting.

So thanks, Julie and Julia. And thanks, Piedmont Theater, and thank you beautiful day and all you cute little old people in the movie theater who were not whispering or chatting or texting or any of those obnoxious things. I am very happy tonight.

(and hungry. I need something buttery, STAT!)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Making The Most Of A Nice Day

As Mr. Kitty out here demonstrates (he loves our back porch), summer is a perfect time for getting some rest. To that end, we are heading out again to look for blackout curtains. Terri is having a terrible time sleeping and our bedroom is pretty light at night... so off we go. We got some a few weeks ago but they were UGLY. This time we are going for the very simple IKEA version. Light gray, simple, cheap. Let's hope they work.

Since they'll have to be hemmed, that's a perfect time to finish my pillow covers. I washed the fabric and now I just need to stitch them up. I'm kind of excited about this. The world of slipcovered pillows is opening up to me...

I also went to the library today to pick up some books. I got The Godfather... I didn't even know it was a novel? What kind of a bibliophile am I?? So. We'll see. I'm still on the search for The Book. The Book Of The Year. Last year it was The Terror. This year.... still searching. I also got my book club book, Madapple (local author), and East of Eden. Because it's about time for a dose of Steinbeck. I'm reading (quickly) the classic Feel The Fear... And Do It Anyway, which I found on our shelves last night as I was desperately searching for something to read. I was very... AFRAID... of not having any books!! So, this little self-help classic is actually kind of awesome. I'll post a review and I might even do the One-Month Challenge described in the book. Why not?

What else was I going to do today? Oh yes... clean the bedroom, and grocery shop. We have been eating a TON of fruit and I swear it's helping me feel better. Terri is not so sure it is helping her, but I'm feeling pretty good lately so we're going to keep it up. Since Berkeley Bowl is so awesome, it's just a *little* bit more expensive to eat so much fruit, but since we also cut WAY down on dairy (I've stopped eating it altogether except for a tiny bit of cheese now and again, and Terri is cutting down dramatically), the cost might actually average out. I've been having fruit for breakfast and a Greek salad for lunch all week, then our usual healthy dinner. It's been pretty great.

OK. Off to IKEA for curtains, then back for crafting and cleaning. Gotta get that girl to SLEEP tonight!! I'll post some pictures of the finished projects...

Friday, August 21, 2009

Book: Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? (Blade Runner)

I'm not sure why this took me so long to read -- a whole week -- even though it's fascinating and very short. I blame Buffy. And my own forgetfulness -- I left it in the bedroom so it didn't follow me around as most of my books do.

Anyway -- I was curious as to how the book compared to the movie. I watched Blade Runner about 10 years ago and thought it was amazing, albeit a little confusing. I was told that it altered the original story quite a bit, so I've always wanted to read the original story. This is also my first Philip K. Dick, an author I've heard a lot about.

I don't read a lot of science fiction. I usually find it kind of cold and hard and mostly about technology and how humans relate in this new technology. Some people find this fascinating, I know. I'm not really one of them. However, I did enjoy this book, although I have to say I still found the writing style a little spare and cold for my tastes. I was also confused by much of the dialogue and the character's reactions to things. I chalked this up to the bizarre post-apocalyptic stress the characters were under.

Set in 2025 (I think), in San Francisco, Rick Deckard is a bounty hunter. He 'retires' rogue androids. After the last war, most of the human population 'emigrated' to Mars, while the people left on Earth are forced to watch the world crumble around them, overcome by 'kipple' (clutter and the detritus of an abandoned society). I was very curious about the dual human populations -- the one on Mars, where apparently humans and androids live in conjunction (having an android was a major lure to get people to emigrate), and the one on the devastated, dying Earth. After the war, many people were adversely affected by the radioactive dust leftover from the war. No one seems to know where this dust came from, but it turned lots of people into 'chickenheads' (brain-damaged). I was curious why the other humans stayed, the non-chickenheads, like Rick. He says at one point, musing about why he didn't emigrate to Mars, "...but I can't emigrate. Because of my job." But I wonder why not? Was there a time limit on when you could emigrate, and if you didn't do it by then, you were left to rot on Earth?

So, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to realize that the underlying theme of the book is what makes humans human, and how close are we to becoming robots (androids)? In this post-apocalyptic world, the most valued human trait is empathy, and the most valued material possession is an animal. Androids do not possess the trait of empathy. Since the androids are becoming more intelligent and more difficult to discern, a number of empathy tests have been developed to identify them. (what I didn't get was why the androids allowed these tests to be administered in the first place, since they were relatively foolproof, measuring body reactions). A point was made that certain humans, usually those afflicted with schizophrenia, did not possess empathy any longer, and therefore could be mistaken for an android. I thought that was an interesting thought. It made me wonder about other humans whom we think of not possessing empathy -- perhaps unrepentant serial killers, or people with certain severe personality disorders. Would they be 'retired' as androids?

As Rick continues down his list of andys to retire, he gets more and more confused by what the 'right' thing is to do. He wants the money he gets when he retires the andys (so he can buy an animal) but he is also starting to feel empathy for the androids, who, apparently, just want to live their 'lives'. One particular android, Luba Luft, is an opera singer. Rick loves opera, and feels a twinge at retiring one of the best singers on Earth. He wonders a bit about the rightness and wrongness of this, but ultimately decides that since she is an android, and since she killed a human to leave Mars, she must be retired, no debate needed.

There are so many really fascinating themes in the book. The religion of Mercerism was strange and confusing and kind of perplexing to me... kind of merging Christianity and the myth of Sisyphus. The 'empathy box' where people 'merged' with Mercer was kind of horrifying, actually. I didn't understand it and I didn't like it one single bit. The other horrifying technology was the Penfield Mood Organ. You could use the mood organ to dial an emotion (wasn't that a Morrissey song? Oh wait, that's Dial A Cliche). While I found this disgusting and repulsive, I thought some of the moods which you could dial to be hilarious: "awareness of the manifold possibilities of the future," or "pleased acknowledgement of husband's superior wisdom in all matters," or my favorite, "the desire to watch television, no matter what's on it." I also loved that Rick's wife, Iran, found it prudent and right to dial a good long spell of despair every so often, in order to feel the sorrow of the world. I'm not sure why I found the mood organ so disturbing. Something about completely losing touch with actual emotions, and letting a box create an emotion for you. I prize my own private emotions very much and the thought of turning them over to a box is horrifying. Since I saw the movie, I was confused at first about whether Rick was a human or android, and the mood organ made this even more confusing. If you were human, why would you need to dial an emotion? I suppose this was Philip Dick's point...

The value placed on animals was heartbreaking. Many animals were extinct, so every animal, no matter how small (even a spider) was highly prized. Deckerd owned a sheep, and it was his most valued possession. It's what made you human, it's what everyone noticed about you and your life (whether you had an animal or not). Unfortunately, his original sheep died, and he was forced to replace it with an electric sheep -- nearly undetectable from a real sheep. This was clearly inferior and a source of great shame to him. He is later able to buy a goat, in a frenzied episode of having too much cash and needing to remind himself that he is, after all, human. A secondary character, a chickenhead, find a spider -- a real, live, actual wild spider. He scooped it up in a bottle (which everyone carried around, just in case they found a spider) and treasures it. What happens to the spider made me absolutely sick. Again, which I suppose is the point. If you are human, you will feel sick about what happens to the spider.

So just a few notes about the style of the book. To me, an inexperienced science-fiction reader, this was clearly written by a man. I kept thinking about how Hemingway was famous for his short, clean prose (Hemingway being a man's man, you know. Ahem.) While this writing was a little more developed, shall we say, I still felt it to be rather sparse, cold, and almost technical. Emotions were felt by humans (empathy) but they are addressed in one or two sentences. Fleeting thoughts are expressed in a word or two. This was a little disconcerting to me. I could not connect with any of the characters, and this left me feeling sort of flat (as much as I liked the book). I was also confused by some of the things that happened. I think because I'm used to reading books very quickly, and if you read this book quickly, you lose a lot of the point. Each chapter needed a little bit of analysis to figure out what was really happening, and how you felt about it. I liked it better for that -- I like a book that makes me think -- but it still left me feeling slightly disconnected.

I was also so repulsed by the Mercerism thing (the phantom rocks which can injure users of the empathy box was just creepy) that I really did not want to think about it very much. The big 'revelation' at the end of the book was interesting, but also confusing.

It did make me think a little bit about the differences between science fiction and fantasy, which are so often lumped together. Both are about 'things which don't exist'. Fantasy tends to be about beings which don't exist, and science fiction is about things which don't exist (yet). In both scenarios, the characters function in these made-up worlds and the contrast is drawn between the 'real' world and these non-existent worlds. Since I focus so much, in my real life, on emotions and connections and relationships, I think I am drawn more to fantasy since (at least in the books I choose), these things tend to be addressed more. I am not all that interested in technology, so sci-fi has left me cold.

However, since I did enjoy this book, now I wonder if I might find some other sci-fi which I'd like. Any suggestions?

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Grateful Wednesday

..because anytime is a good time to be grateful!

I'm grateful that...
1. Terri is finally get a ton of overdue lab tests. You would not believe how difficult it is to get simple tests done once you have a diagnosis of something that no one knows anything about. Interestingly (maybe) the new doc 'doesn't believe in CFS' so is going to test for everything else under the sun. I think this is good, because maybe some other smaller things will come up which are treatable, which will all feed into recovery. This, balanced with her other doctor (for whom we pay out-of-pocket), is a good mix, I think. I hope.

2. For Terri's increased stamina, which has allowed us to go to some fun events recently and spend time out at the lake (where the photo above was taken). Don't you love silver hair? I do. She's had silver hair for years and years. I think it's gorgeous. Anyway, we've been able to do fun things lately and are inspired to go see more live music, so that's fun. I can't wait for our next adventure.

3. For my kitty's continued adorableness. She has a big owie under her leg where the tumor is, but she is still super-snuggly and funny and cute and loving, and still eating and doing all that cat stuff... so I am so grateful for happy time spent with her. She is on my lap right now, halfway on the laptop keyboard! I took her to a new vet last week whom I really liked, so I know that at least she will get very good care as she needs it.

4. For donuts. Do I need to say more?

5. For old friends. It has been so fun to reconnect with people on Facebook. My old best friend from WAY back (who now lives in Florida, who I haven't talked to in over 15 years), some middle-and-high school friends who have drifted... it's really fun to be in current conversation with so many of them. Lots of people who I have known literally my whole life. Gotta love small towns.

6. For Buffy DVDs. We are completely hooked (first time for Terri, my second time watching them all). So. Freaking. Good.

7. For all the hidden opportunities and unexpected open doors that happen when I least expect it. I figure as long as I keep stirring stuff up, good stuff is bound to pop up with the bad stuff (at some point...). It's a good reminder to avoid complacency.

8. For my mom teaching me how to sew. I am not very talented at sewing (nor very patient) but I am having fun doing a few small projects. I made very simple curtains for the living room, and am going to make some pillow covers for throw pillows for the couch. I have a few clothing items that need slight alterations, and I'd really like to make a few other projects. The Longs Drug Store near my house is enormous and has lots of cheap fabric (some as low as $3/yard! And it's not all ugly!) so I figure why not? It's fun and I'm not itching to paint at the moment (but I will very soon, I can feel it).

9. For the fact that we moved when we did (from the moldy place). Terri ran into our old neighbor at the doctor's today, who has her own health issues, and Terri said that she looked *awful*. She lives in the apartment right next to our old one and suspects bad mold in her place, too. In addition, she told a very sad story of a couple who moved into our old place... the woman was pregnant when they moved in. Very close to her due date, she lost the baby. We don't know why or how... and these things may not be related AT ALL to the mold, but still. I'm super-grateful that we moved when we did.

So, even though bad things do happen to good people (all too often), good things happen too and I'm especially grateful for a lull in the bad things so that I can notice all the things I'm grateful for. Things are good right now. I'm just going to enjoy it.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Chop, Chop!

...and there goes the hair!

I didn't take a "before" but I probably chopped off a good 5-6 inches (from the back). I really had no idea what I was going to do before I went to the salon, and so I just sort of hemmed and hawed and the hairstylist kind of just did what she wanted and... here we have the new hair. Which is almost the exact same hair I had 5-6 years ago. Which is not a bad thing, I actually love this haircut... but I sort of didn't expect to have it again right yet! Oh well. It's cute, it's short and cool (we get a long Indian summer here) and I think once it grows a little it will be just right.

Not very much going on. Things feel kind of odd right now -- simultaneously whirlwind busy but also sort of calm. I can't seem to remember what I'm doing one day to the next. I'm reading Blade Runner and I love it, but I keep forgetting to take it with me out of the bedroom, so I haven't gotten through it very quickly. I feel like lots of things are going to be resolved or decided very soon, so everything is rushing up to that point, and it's hard to tell what's what. But it could be that nothing is going to be decided, that it's all in my head (since I can't even really pinpoint what I'm talking about)... but sometimes you just have that feeling, you know? A sort of rushed optimism. Stuff's happening. I don't know what, but, Stuff? It is happening. (somewhere)

It's also drawing close to my very favorite time of year. I can't wait. September and October are my favorite months, with November and December close seconds. I'll be turning 35 in September, which is very strange. When I was little I thought 35 was SO OLD. And here I am, almost 35, and I feel like I'm about 22. Well, maybe 25. It depends on the day. But 35? No way. I guess that's a good thing, right?

So this blog post is a good case in point. I feel like stuff is brewing, but I'm unable to bring it up to the surface. I'm curious about what is going to come up in the next few weeks and months.

In the meantime... totally loving Philip K. Dick. Kitty is doing okay (although she has a big ouchie under her front leg where the tumor is too close to the surface, poor thing). I'm hoping that things are on an upswing in general, but it's hard to tell. I'm feeling oddly optimistic. I hope it continues.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Happy Anniversary! And, a day out.

Happy six years to me and Terri! Well, approximately. Everyone measures anniversaries differently. This is the anniversary of our first date. Well, and actually it was earlier in the week, but things have been so crazy lately that we BOTH FORGOT. Oh well. That just means we get to stretch out the celebration, right? Right. Happy six years to the love of my life and the most amazing person I know.

Today I walked in from doing morning errands and Terri suggested we go to the downtown Oakland Art and Soul festival. So we decided to go. This is kind of a big deal. A year ago, it would have been unthinkable to go to a downtown music/art/food street festival. Just too much stimulation and effort required. She was just too sick. So the fact that she a) wanted to go and b) we actually went is SO encouraging and exciting to me!

It was a perfect day in the Bay Area. About 80 degrees or so, sunny and clear, everyone in a great mood.

After needing to acclimate for a few minutes (way more people and stuff to see than we had anticipated -- we are both out of practice with street festivals!), we got into it.

You know, the usual. Trying on hats...
Eating street food...
And listening to amazing gospel music. Well, maybe that's not so usual. However, Oakland has quite a few outstanding gospel choirs and groups, and there was a whole stage devoted to them today. We hung out here for quite awhile. I don't think it's possible to be in a bad mood while listening to high-energy gospel music. It was so much fun. Everyone was dancing and singing, smiling... it felt pretty dang good to be there with everyone. We liked it so much we're going to try to go to the church where this group sings all the time. (no, I'm not really Christian, but I do love African American gospel music, especially live. It's pretty awesome)

Although Terri is pretty worn out (an understatement) we'd like to go back tomorrow. There's a big hiphop/crew dance stage tomorrow which would be fun to see. Oakland has some pretty great culture hidden behind all the bad-rep. Also there was some fantastic people-watching today. The full gamut of fashion. Apparently some of the festival was dedicated to Michael Jackson so there were a lot of MJ tribute stuff around. I'm assuming that's why this lady was wearing one sparkly glove. (she totally rocked, by the way)

Anyway. It was a pretty terrific day. We are sunburnt, tired, and thrilled that we got to go.

NPR's Top 100 Beach Books

Allrighty. Let's see how many of these I've read (in green). You know how I love lists. I'll highlight the ones I *want* to read in red.

1. The Harry Potter series, by J.K. Rowling (all of them! and I want to read them again)
2. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee (although I need to re-read it)
3. The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini (cried the entire last half)
4. Bridget Jones's Diary, by Helen Fielding (how have I not read this yet?)
5. Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen
6. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, by Rebecca Wells
7. The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald
8. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams
9. Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, by Fannie Flagg

10. The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingsolver
11. The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger
12. Life of Pi, by Yann Martel
13. The Joy Luck Club, by Amy Tan
14. The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien (and LOTR trilogy... like, a million times)
15. The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger
16. Gone with the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell

17. Bel Canto, by Ann Patchett (started it, but did not like it)
18. The Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien
19. Middlesex, by Jeffrey Eugenides

20. Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen (started, did not like)
21. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain
22. The Bean Trees, by Barbara Kingsolver (although I think I started it...)
23. The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, by Alexander McCall Smith
24. The World According to Garp, by John Irving
25. Catch-22, by Joseph Heller
26. The Prince of Tides, by Pat Conroy
27. Like Water for Chocolate, by Laura Esquivel

28. The Princess Bride, by William Goldman
29. The Accidental Tourist, by Anne Tyler
30. Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer (all four)
31. A Confederacy of Dunces, by John Kennedy Toole

32. East of Eden, by John Steinbeck (although I might have read it long ago...)
33. The Red Tent, by Anita Diamant
34. Beach Music, by Pat Conroy
35. One Hundred Years of Solitude, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
36. Rebecca, by Daphne Du Maurier
37. Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card
38. Lonesome Dove, by Larry McMurtry (and the sequel)
39. The Thorn Birds, by Colleen McCullough (might be fun to re-read)
40. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, by Michael Chabon

41. Pillars of the Earth, by Ken Follett
42. Anna Karenina, by Leo Tolstoy (currently reading)
43. Interview with the Vampire, by Anne Rice (and about a million others by her)
44. Cold Mountain, by Charles Frazier (started, not into it)
45. Empire Falls, by Richard Russo
46. Under the Tuscan Sun, by Frances Mayes
47. The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexandre Dumas
48. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, by Tom Robbins
49. I Know This Much Is True, by Wally Lamb
50. Murder on the Orient Express, by Agatha Christie
51. Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott
52. The Stand, by Stephen King
53. She's Come Undone, by Wally Lamb (although I sort of hated it)

54. Dune, by Frank Herbert
55. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

56. Love in the Time of Cholera, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
57. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll
58. Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov

59. The Godfather, by Mario Puzo (ooh! Is this what the movie was based on?? Must read!)
60. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, by Betty Smith
61. Animal Dreams, by Barbara Kingsolver
62. Jaws, by Peter Benchley (I started this a million times when I was a kid)
63. Good in Bed, by Jennifer Weiner
64. Angle of Repose, by Wallace Stegner
65. Snow Falling on Cedars, by David Guterson (started, not into it)
66. The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway
67. The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand
68. Breakfast of Champions, by Kurt Vonnegut
69. Cat's Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut

70. The Big Sleep, by Raymond Chandler
71. The Sun Also Rises, by Ernest Hemingway
72. The Hunt for Red October, by Tom Clancy

73. Cold Sassy Tree, by Olive Ann Burns
74. The Lord of the Flies, by William Golding
74. Bonfire of the Vanities, by Tom Wolfe (I used to have this... hmm...)
76. Wuthering Heights, by Emily Bronte
77. Outlander, by Diana Gabaldon
78. The Shell Seekers, by Rosamunde Pilcher

79. Prodigal Summer, by Barbara Kingsolver
80. Eye of the Needle, by Ken Follett
81. Cannery Row, by John Steinbeck
82. The Pilot's Wife, by Anita Shreve [tie]
83. All the Pretty Horses, by Cormac McCarthy
84. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, by Stieg Larsson
85. The Little Prince, by Antoine De Saint-Exupery
86. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy
87. One for the Money, by Janet Evanovich
88. Shogun, by James Clavell
89. Dracula, by Bram Stoker
90. The Unbearable Lightness of Being, by Milan Kundera
91. Presumed Innocent, by Scott Turow
92. Franny and Zooey, by J.D. Salinger (however, do not even remember it)
93. The Secret History, by Donna Tartt
94. Dead Until Dark, by Charlaine Harris (started, did not like)
95. Summer Sisters, by Judy Blume
96. The Shining, by Stephen King
97. How Stella Got Her Groove Back, by Terry McMillan
98. Lamb, by Christopher Moore
99. Sick Puppy, by Carl Hiaasen
100. Treasure Island, by Robert Louis Stevenson

So, I have read 62 (or so) out of 100 (more, if you count all the books in the series mentioned). Still, room for improvement. I really enjoyed most of the books I've read on this list, so I'll pick out a few more off of it for my library trip today. Hmm. I will report back.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Some bookish thoughts... and a very large fish

First, here's my dad. And his very large fish. My dad is a very talented fisherman (can you be *talented* at fishing?). I have no other photos to post so thought I would post this one since it's making me smile.

Anyway, a few bookish thoughts...

* I started to read Happiness Is An Inside Job by Sylvia Boorstein (upon recommendation from my aunt). It's basically about Buddhist loving-kindness meditation and how to use it in everyday situations. Which seems like it would be a nice book to read, right? Instead, it's making me feel very anxious and uncomfortable. I'm not sure why. The more I read, the worse I feel. So I'm putting it down. Maybe I'm just not feeling like I should read anything that is telling me (or even kindly suggesting) that I ought to be doing something else on top of everything. Also, I really don't need any reminders that life is fleeting and I need to stay in the moment. That is right in front of my nose all the time, thank you very much. So... maybe it's not what I need right now.

(however, coincidentally, there have been a few times in the past few days where I've seen strangers who look very very unhappy -- walking by me, stifling sobs, that sort of thing -- and because I read about doing this in the book, I send them some loving and comforting thoughts and energy. So maybe it's doing me some good anyway)

* I'm also reading The Picture of Dorian Gray on Daily Lit. It's really great. It's a little odd to read just a few paragraphs a day, however. I'm not sure how much I like the format of getting only a small snippet of something every day, with no way to keep reading if you feel like it. I was also reading Emma that way, but I think Austen is best read in giant chunks because it's difficult to keep everyone and everything straight if you aren't immersed in it. Do you know about Daily Lit? It's fun.

* I have to get to the library this weekend. I need to get my book club book, and I'm out of anything else to read. I'm reading Free-Range Kids which is really funny and fascinating, but it's not exactly relevant to my life since I have no kids... however, it's passing the time until I can get to the library!

In other news, the janitors at my job apparently vacuumed up the cord to my heating pad (which I keep on my lap at all times because it's freezing in my office) . When I got in this morning, it was absolutely filthy and had that burned-vacuum smell. You know when you accidentally suck up a cord or string or something? That horrible smell (and sound)? Yeah. It was disgusting. It still smells terrible, too. I had to get one of those Mr. Clean sponge thingies and scrub it down because it was so filthy. Yuck.

I've been in a strange place lately. Just feeling somewhat disconnected -- but that's not really it. I feel like there is something brewing. Plans to be made, etc. Probably just thinking about the stuff I alluded to in my previous post. I feel very busy and very preoccupied with plans. Not that I'm really making any plans... I'm just planning on making plans. You know how that is?

It's interesting because I feel very centered, very certain of myself (which is awesome after spending the last 15 years feeling so unfocused), and I feel like I have a number of very viable paths ahead of me. But I haven't quite stepped onto one yet -- I'm in that just-before stage. I'm just watching to see what's going to be the first one, as they shift and vie for the #1 slot. It's all very interesting in a super-detached way.

And finally, we are rewatching all of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If you have not seen this series, put it on your Netflix list STAT!! It is *so* good.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Book: Heart-Shaped Box


I'm currently experiencing a strange dearth of books that I'm dying to get into. I'm reading a friend's manuscript (fabulous) and also a few health/meditation books (which I may or may not review), but these are difficult to cart around and not exactly comfy bedtime reading. So... I pulled out Heart-Shaped Box, which I've had laying around for awhile.

I fully expected it to be pretty stupid. I was pleasantly surprised that it was a decent story, not terribly written, and had a fun happy ending which was totally unexpected.

Judas Coyne, aging lead singer of the heavy-metal band Jude's Hammer, has a thing for weird stuff. He's got monkey paws and dog bones and relics and all kinds of creepy things. Now all he needs is his own personal ghost. One day, he gets just that. Up for auction on an knock-off Ebay site is an offer of a Ghost For Sale. For kicks, he buys it for $1000. A few days later, a musty old suit shows up on his doorstep. And a few days after that... the ghost arrives. And begins a hell-on-wheels adventure.

This started off pretty slow but fairly interesting. I liked Jude. Crusty and grumpy and unashamed of his life, he knows what he likes. Music. His dogs. Goth girls. Weird things. His old Mustang, which he restored himself. Once the ghost appears, things start to go bad, quickly. (in the story, I mean. The book remains fairly decent throughout). People start to get hurt. The ghost gets creepier. The messages become darker. The near-death escapes become more frequent. And then they all head off on the road trip, which is when things get REALLY going.

Jude's girlfriend, Georgia (named after her home state), starts out pretty annoying, and stays relatively annoying until about halfway through the book, when you realize that she's sticking around. I think we realize that she's sticking around at about the same time Jude realizes she's sticking around. After that, both we and Jude soften towards her, and by the end, we kinda love her. Not exactly sure why, but we do.

That's kind of how this whole book goes. Not exactly sure why I liked it, since it wasn't particularly fantastic, and the story had some pretty big holes in it (now, WHY did he have to BUY the ghost? and WHY is that mother so awful? and WHY does Anna need a door? and what the heck is this door anyway?). But by the end, I did. I liked it a lot. I liked Jude (turns out he's kind of a big teddy bear after all). I liked Georgia. She was really annoying and by the end I wasn't sure why Jude decided he really did love her, and I wasn't sure why I did either, but we both did. She turned out to be a good egg.

Lots of bad eggs in the book, and you know how much I love a good bad egg, so that was satisfying.

Joe Hill is the son of Stephen King, a fact which was rolling around in the back of my mind as I read this. His style is definitely King-like, but did not copy all the King standbys, which I appreciated. The book reads as though he is finding his own style along the way, and although I haven't read any other Joe Hill books, I got the impression that he's developing as a writer. I could see the family resemblance, but it was more of a flavor than the main entree. I am a big fan of Stephen King's early books and this was definitely not of that caliber, but it was still plenty good.

Anyway. This was sort of a time-killer book, and it was definitely amusing and a pretty good ghost story. The happy ending was a nice surprise, as I said. Enough slashing and bad things happen to keep horror fans happy, and enough creepy ghostiness to keep spooky fans (like myself) happy. It would be a nice toss-in to round out an RIP TBR list, or it would also be a good vacation book since it was not exactly challenging to read. It was fun and unexpected and a pretty good summer read.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Summer Morning

I have got to go take some photos.

It's a beautiful summer morning and I'm waiting for everyone to get up. I'm waiting for a friend to get back to me if she's coming over today. I'm waiting to go to the grocery store because I'm not sure what we are planning on having for dinner this week. I'm waiting to take a shower because... well, because I'm lazy.

I'm feeling a little tired of all this waiting! I think it's time to spring into action. In many ways. I was thinking last night that this autumn it's going to be time to get those gears rolling again. We've been waiting for a long time to do many things, for many reasons. I think it's definitely time to start those balls in motion again. We can't do everything, all the time, but we can do some things. It's hard with CFS because you really can't plan activities -- you never know if the person who has CFS is going to be able to participate or not. However, I can plan for school. I can plan on how we are going to buy a house. I can plan my winter's reading and community involvement. I can plan all of those things. And I can plan to leave plenty of open space for those times when Terri is up and ready to go do stuff.

Some things I'd like to plan, large and small:

* A picnic for today. It's so lovely outside and I think feeding the ducks by lake and reading in the shade sounds really great.
* A new haircut. My hair is growing pretty long and I like it, but I need a change. A new color or something. Not sure what. Maybe I'll go red. Haven't done that in years and years. (I'm mostly joking, although it's tempting...)
* Getting involved in our neighborhood. I love this neighborhood. I'm bummed because there is really no way we can buy here, it's way too expensive. However, it would be fun to go to a community meeting or something. Maybe help plan the Halloween festivities.
* School. Yep, thinking about school again. This time I think I've got a plan. I'm going to do a little more investigation, but I think I know what I'm going to do. It feels quietly right. That's the best sort of 'right' for me. If I'm too excited, chances are that I'm just searching for something and that *this* is the *answer*. However, when it's quietly right, that's when I feel like, "Okay. I can do this. This feels right." It's amazing how long it can take to come to that decision sometimes. Details to come when I've made up my mind for sure.
* House. I've decided that I am done waiting to buy a house. We've been saving and saving, and if a couple of good things happen in the next year, then I think we can really think about buying something soon. Maybe not THE house, but *A* house (or townhouse). The housing market has dropped in many areas here and we're not afraid of rural, nor of fixer-upper, so... I'm crossing fingers and toes here, but I'm planning for action.
* Art show. I'd really like to do this next year. I think I've decided that I paint best 8 x 10 or smaller. With a few exceptions. I'd like to do a woods theme. My owls, and the spooky trees will be a part of it. I'd like to get 10-12 paintings done by next fall, hopefully doing an October show in a coffeeshop or something around here. That's a good goal, right?

I think that's enough to keep me happily busy. There are some other things we'd like to do but they are more flexible and/or spur-of-the-moment. I can safely plan for the things I mentioned above and feel reasonably sure that I can make progress. The house one I'm counting on a bit of luck for, but aren't we due for a bit of luck by now? I think so.

Bad things happen to good people. This is a sad truth. However, lots of good things can happen despite the bad things. I'm going to spend a lot of effort over the next few months making those good things happen.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Book: Dark Places


Confession: I began this book at 7 pm and finished it at 2 am. I could not put it down. I had to find out what happened! And, I was too creeped out to just put the book down without knowing if the things hinted at were real or not.

This is Gillian Flynn's second book, and I have to say if she continues in this vein, she is well on her way to becoming a favorite. I was delightfully horrified by her first, Sharp Objects, and that uncomfortable feeling of being thrilled at how dark the story was has been continued in this book.

This is not a nice book. The people in it are not nice. The things that happen are not nice. The setting is not nice. No, it is not nice at all.

Libby Day, now in her early 30s, was seven on the night of the murders. The night she woke up to the sounds of her mother and sisters being brutally slaughtered. She ran out into the snow to escape, and lost a few toes and fingers in the process. All these years she's stuck by her story that it was her brother who did it. After all, she heard him there that night, yelling and screaming amid the sounds of the axe falling. It was him. She was sure of it. Right? Right?

After the murders, the community was horrified and started a large collection fund for her. She's been living off this fund for years, and now it's dwindling down to almost nothing. With no skills (or desire to work), Libby has to find a way to make some cash, and fast. So when a local club of amateur crime-solvers (under the unfortunate name The Kill Club) ask her to come and speak to them (and offer to pay her cold hard cash), she accepts. The members of this club don't believe that her brother did it -- in fact, they scoff at the idea. Slowly Libby begins to question her own story... and then she's back in 1985, reliving the events leading up to that night.

This book is horrifying on many levels. The brutality of the murders is horrifying. The poverty that the family lives in is horrifying. The 'bad kids' Libby's brother falls in with are horrifying. What the author does is so skillful -- she reminds me of the best of Stephen King's early books, but without the supernatural edge. It mostly reminds me of 'salem's Lot, in the way King so accurately captures the little evils that happen every day.

I grew up in the 70s and 80s and I remember vaguely the devil-worshipping fears. I remember the Tipper Gore ruckus about heavy metal and rap music (for the record, I think the music ratings system is stupid). I grew up in a very small town that was by no means evil, but had a certain seedy underside which thankfully I stayed out of, but some of my friends and neighbors did not. There was a murder-suicide (teenagers), there was a horrific murder (middle school kids killing another middle school girl)... bad things happened. This book tapped into my memories of these bad things and how scared and sick we all were about them.

The bad girlfriend, Diondra, reminded me so well of a certain kind of horrible teenage girl which I knew so well in the 80s. My school was tiny but every school has the rich/bad kids. The ones in Guess jeans and Keds and scrunchy socks and drenched in Obsession, with shellacked bangs and frosted lipstick. The ones who made your life a living hell. Diondra was all those bad girls wrapped into one. She scared me.

Was it the work of the devil? Was it the brother? Was it a mass murderer on the loose? Who was it? Who did it? I could not stop reading. The pit in my stomach got bigger and bigger as the pieces dropped into place. This is the best kind of horrifying book. No ghosts, but monsters for sure. Human ones. Extremely satisfying if you like a good disturbing book. Also, the writing is excellent -- this is no pulp fiction.

I hope Gillian Flynn is writing another book right now -- I may be on the verge of an unhealthy obsession.

PS: She has an awesome author's statement on her website. As someone acutely aware of and interested in those dark inside places women routinely cover up (myself included), I was so glad to know that finally someone else is tired of spunky heroines. If there is no cultural outlet for the shadow side of women (or men), it comes out all twisted into reality (a certain frightening ex-Alaskan governor, anyone?).

Friday, August 07, 2009

Book: The Golden Name Day


This series, now sadly out of print, was one of my favorites when I was little (7 or 8 or 9). The Golden Name Day, The Crystal Tree, and The Silver House are all sweet Little-House semi-autobiographical type books by Jennie Lindquist (also illustrated by Garth Williams, whom I love) about a girl named Nancy and her Swedish grandparents and cousins (Sigrid, Elsa, and Helga. I love the names Sigrid and Elsa).

A friend of mine mentioned that she was thinking of naming her soon-to-be-born daughter Elsa and that rang a distant bell in my mind-library... "...oh yeah! I used to love a character named Elsa.... what were those books called?"

They are now out of print and wildly expensive when I could find a copy online, so I'm going to keep my eye out for them as I peruse used book stores.

This particular book tells the story of Nancy, who comes to stay with Grandma and Grandpa (late 1800s, I think) when her mother is sick. She of course has a hard time adjusting, but the cousins are jolly and Grandma and Grandpa are about the best grandparents you can imagine, and she gets to stay on a little farm and choose the wallpaper for her bedroom (yellow roses, very important), and most of all, more than anything, Nancy wants a name day like her Swedish cousins have.

Nancy is not Swedish since she is not directly related to Grandma and Grandpa (I don't quite understand that part) but she helps with everyone else's name day parties, and feels worse and worse because she doesn't have one. Over the course of the book (a period of some months), everyone tries to find ways for Nancy to have her own, real name day. Finally, towards the end of the book, some solutions are reached (to the relief of everyone, including the reader).

If you liked the Little House books, then you would definitely enjoy these. My favorite of the three was The Crystal Tree, about a little crystal tree that the girls find hidden in Nancy's new house. They wonder who made it, and there is a small mystery about the little girl who crafted this thing of beauty long ago.

As I re-read this book (the last time I read it must have been at least 25 years ago), I was struck by how much i remembered, and how certain things have stayed with me all these years. I've always wanted to see a little crystal tree as described. I've always wanted to have yellow roses somehow -- a bush, or a quilt -- yellow roses always seemed special to me. There are a number of other examples where, as I read them, I had a flash of recognition. "Oh! That's where I got that!"

This brings home the point again to me that the books we read as children affect our whole lives, and the sort of adults we become. The more I re-read old favorites, the more reconnected to my deeper self I feel. It's really sort of wonderful.

If you happen to have or find a copy of any of these books, please contact me! I would love to buy them!

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Book: The Wind In The Willows


Here's the deal: if you are feeling under the weather or blue, compile this little stack of books and read them. You will feel better.

* Winnie the Pooh (any and all)
* Little House on the Prairie (any)
* Roald Dahl (take your pick)
* The Wind In The Willows (the one and only)

What can be said that hasn't already been said about this adorable children's classic? If you haven't read it, then get a second-hand copy and keep it around. Read a chapter every now and again. You will love it. Promise.

One of my favorite parts (aside from Toad, with his crazed, "Poop-poop!") was when Mole and Rat walked by Mole's old house and Mole was seized by a deep, inarguable desire to see his old home again. He simply would not be okay until he visited his old, dear, musty little hole. His beloved friend Rat understands this and so they go to visit. Poor Mole sees how little and dusty and run-down the place is, but Rat, with his friendly eye, whisks it back into tip-top shape and delights Mole by conjuring up a welcome-home party fit for a king.

Ratty and Mole are the best of friends and this example perfectly illustrates how best friends help us to see the shiny linings of those stormclouds. Best friends understand what is closest to our hearts and help us get those things.

This book always reminds me of another favorite series which I was completely obsessed with when I was little, The Old Mother West Wind books. My dad had a whole series of these and I got them when I was young, and loved them to bits. My grandma would talk to me about Paddy the Beaver, Reddy Fox, Peter Cottontail, and Danny the Meadow Mouse. Very sweet stories but also with that little touch of grown-up danger which makes children's books (the kind that are written TO children with REAL children in mind) so heartwrenching and dear.

Anyway, there's just one more comfort-book retro-read to cover, which I'll do tomorrow. Then it's time to review another terrifically nasty Gillian Flynn book. She's my new favorite author.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Book: Busted, Life Inside The Great Mortgage Meltdown


(so many books to catch up on!)

Okay, first: what's with the current craze for personal-experience/memoirs with one-word (or short) catchy titles, followed by witty/overly-long subtitles?

Busted: Life Inside The Great Mortgage Meltdown Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping Waiter Rant: Thanks For The Tip -- Confessions Of A Cynical Waiter

Trendy much?

Anyway. Speaking of trends, I jumped right on the bandwagon to read this book, from which I read exerpts on Salon.com. I liked what I read and thought the book might be interesting. While witnessing the stunning crash of the housing market here in the Bay Area, I wondered about the people behind the foreclosures -- not just the obvious ones, the immigrants and first-time homebuyers (perhaps with English as a second language) -- but the Regular Joe, white-collar types who over-extended. In some cases, WAY over-extended.

It was pretty good, but it was also -- as seems to be a common theme with new personal-experience type books -- a little overstuffed.

The book follows a fairly pat format of a chapter of personal experience, then a chapter of data and bigger-picture facts, alternating between the two. I found this to be informative, but a little tiresome. I really wanted to know more about why these smart grownups decided it was okay -- even when it quickly became obvious that is was NOT okay -- to buy an overpriced house that was out of their budget. The author, Edmund Andrews (New York Times financial reporter, of all things), goes into much detail about their financial woes. He admits it was their own fault. However, I still don't get it. As Alan Greenspan says to Mr. Andrews when Andrews reveals the depth of his financial crisis, "Why did you do it??"

So, Andrews is a big-shot financial reporter for the New York Times. He's been covering -- and warning against -- the housing collapse for awhile now. However, when the time comes for him to remarry, he is somehow unable to resist buying a house that is outside his budget. The alternative -- a condo or an apartment -- are not appealing. So, he did what many people did. Got a "creative mortgage" and bought the house anyway.

And so we enter a tale of financial horror which quickened my resolve to save, save, save, be frugal, be wise, and not to indulge in financial magical thinking.

Further revelations about his wife's two previous bankruptcies made me even more incredulous. Nothing about his tale convinces me that he had any business buying this house. Even with creative financing, they were barely (and most times, not even) making ends meet. In a household with an income of over $100,000, this seems just plain stupid.

While the litany of shoddy deals was fascinating, what was infuriating were the details of how so many women and minorities were duped into taking subprime loans. In many cases, they were simply told that these were the only mortgages they qualified for.

Ultimately it was a pretty interesting read. Their personal story I found horrifying -- nothing scares me more than out-of-control finances (which made me shake my head in wonder at how long they kept it up! There is NO WAY I could have stood that much stress that long). The amazing speed at which they mired themselves was astounding. Andrews says that he takes full blame for the fiasco, but I have to wonder. There is an edge of "if they hadn't offered it to me, I wouldn't have taken it" happening. It's just plain bad judgment, that's what it is.

If you are at all interested in how the housing industry got into this mess, I found this to be a pretty simple and easy-t0-understand outline of what happened. I skimmed over some of the litany of bank names and types of subprime and creatively-financed mortgage types, but overall I feel more informed. And dumbfounded at what people accepted. I do think the banks and mortgage companies ought to be prosecuted and hang their heads in shame, but I also think that homeowners (or former homeowners) ought to look hard at how they got into that boat. A leeetle bit of creativity I can understand. But some of these mortgages are outrageous and I either have to believe that people simply had the wool pulled over their eyes by the banks/mortgage companies, or that they were simply house-crazed and would take whatever they could get. Either way, it's pretty shocking.

A pretty good review of the book is also here on The Huffington Post.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Miso Soup-- FINALLY!

Posting has been light (or non-existent) this weekend since my computer is in the shop. I have tons of book reviews to post, but haven't had the computer! Borrowing Terri's today to share my miso soup recipe, which I FINALLY figured out this weeked after like 10 years of trying. It is surprisingly difficult to find a decent recipe online. So. If you like miso soup, here's how you can make your own. I was sooooooooooo happy to finally figure this out.

Homemade Quick and Yummy Miso Soup

You'll need:
  • Miso: If you go to a store with a wide selection of miso, it is VERY confusing. Berkeley Bowl had, seriously, like 25 kinds. I stood in front of the miso case for a loooong time. I chose shiro miso (white) and it turned out very well. Many recipes say that you can use red miso in the colder months. I think it probably doesn't matter, just pick one. Shiro seems like it's a good place to start.
  • Instant dashi: this is the secret ingredient!! I don't know why more recipes for quick miso don't include this -- it makes all the difference. It is not vegan/vegetarian, but you only use a small amount. You can get this at any Asian market. The brand "Hon-Dashi" seems to be most popular
  • Wakame: Dried 'sea vegetable'. Also very important to miso soup, but if you can't find it, you can still make yummy soup. This should also be at the Asian market (or Whole Foods).
  • Other add-ins: dried shiitake, green onion, yellow onion, soft tofu, whatever you like in your miso.

Here is how to make a single serving (which is super-yummy for a savory breakfast):

Boil one cup of water.

Add in 1/4 teaspoon dashi (more if you like a stronger flavor)

Add 1/4 teaspoon dried wakame (you might need to snip it into tiny pieces first -- it expands like crazy!!)

Add shiitakes and yellow onions, if using.

Let boil another few seconds (maybe a minute). Then TURN OFF THE STOVE.

Once the boiling has stopped, stir in 1 tbsp. miso. You can also pre-mix this with a little water to make a smooth paste. It's important not to boil the miso once it's been added.

Whisk until everything is combined. Taste. Add more miso or dashi until it tastes right to you (I had to add a tiny pinch more dashi and a little more miso because I like a strong flavor).

Garnish with green onion, tofu, etc.

***

I'm going to experiment using this as a base for udon soup, with I also adore.

I was SO PLEASED to finally figure out how to make miso at home. I don't know why there aren't more simple recipes like this -- most seem to leave out the dashi, which is essential to make it taste right!

Good luck, happy cooking, and book reviews coming soon!