The Halfway Point

Hard to believe we're half way through the year already. Thought I would post my half-year progress report re: books.

So... I'm kind of a little farther behind than I'd like. My big goal is to read 100 books a year. My little (acceptable, reasonable) goal is to read 75. I'm behind on both/either. What can I say? I've been distracted this year. Only 35 (and that's if I include the partial reads)

Here's the list so far.

This kind of makes me sad because I have been feeling like it's an "off" year for reading. Last year was so amazing, I read so many "Wow!!" books. This year... eh. I mean, definitely some good books in there, but there's no "Terror" yet. I'd better get moving if I want to reach 75.

Some favorites:

The Woman In Black: Scary!! Great writing, really atmospheric.

The Graveyard Book: It's growing on me. Although I still like Coraline better.

All the Charles de Lint: I just picked up a couple more at the library. I think he's my favorite author this year.

The Wood Wife: Okay, this one was pretty fantastic.

Anansi Boys: Pretty hard not to like Gaiman.

The Enchanted April: So charming. I want to be there RIGHT NOW.

Mother Night: Because, well, Vonnegut.

Sharp Objects: Creepy and disturbing. I loved, loved, loved it. (but not as much as The Terror)

So... got some serious legwork to do here. I need some big bangs, some real winners. I need to schedule a week where all I do is read, is what I need.

Any favorites I NEED to read in the next 6 months? I need to make a list.

Book Roundup

I've been in a weird state the last couple of weeks.

I've read about half of a number of books, and then abandoned them (or they were due back at the library). A quick roundup:

The Hard Facts of Grimm's Fairy Tales (Maria Tatar): A fascinating look at the backstory behind the fairy tales and the realities of the culture which may or may not have gotten warped by the Brothers Grimm as they tried to make their books first more authentic, and later, more marketable. I really enjoyed it, but to tell you the truth, I got way too bogged down in the scholarly tone and didn't have enough concentration to really get through it. However, if I were more rested, I think I would have raced through to the end. I really enjoyed what I did read (about half).

When You Are Engulfed In Flames (David Sedaris): What can you say about David Sedaris that hasn't already been said? He's hilarious, wry, absurd, incredibly funny. I could not keep a straight face while reading this. Unfortunately, it was only a 7-day loan, and I only realized this two days before it was due, so I raced through as much as I could before the due date. I got about half way through this one, too. So funny and enough to make anyone feel a little better about their own quirks and foibles.

It seems like there were a couple others that I sort of flipped through. I've been really, really busy, and really, really tired. My best friend came to visit last weekend, so not much time for reading then. I've actually been too tired to read, which is a rare state for me!

I'm almost done with Wesley The Owl. Terri read the last two chapters and burst out into tears. I'm dreading it, although the story so far is completely adorable and amazing. I should have this finished tonight. Review soon! Sorry about the lack o' booktalk. I am stretched thin and not at my best lately.

Thrifting: Veddy Proper

Finding myself in a rare moment of being alone AND having nothing I needed to do, I decided to go drop off some stuff at the thrift store and poke around.

The minute I walked in, I felt better. Some people find thrift shops depressing. I find them exciting and inspiring. You can have a lot of fun for $20 at the thrift store. Heck, you can have a lot of fun for $10 or $5. Which is another reason why I love the thrift store. Cheap, creative fun. And shopping! All in one!

And every once in awhile, you get really lucky. Today was one of those days.

A brief history about me and tea things: my grandma had a large collection of beautiful tea cups, all different. When I would go to visit her, one of our rituals would be that we would wash all the teacups and saucers, and then sit down and have a tea party. I always got to choose my teacup, and what a decision that was! I *loved* doing this. Eventually I inherited the teacups. Sadly, they are in my dad's attic, as I have no place to display them.

So anyway, I kind of have a thing for teacups, teapots, etc. I try *very* hard not to indulge this little passion because, again: no room. However, I did need a teapot. I have had a few teapots over the years and either they weren't quite right, or they met an untimely end when one of my shelves crashed down a few years ago. And so I found myself without a proper teapot.

Until today. Behold:

Oooh, ahhhh. Yes, oohs and ahhs are in order. Isn't it pretty? It's all crackly and creamy with pretty gold-and-teal wild roses. It's a Gibson, which apparently means something (it means nothing to me -- as long as it's pretty and doesn't leak, I'm happy).

It was a little more expensive than I'd usually pay at a thrift store: $16. However, it's perfect. I love it. As soon as I picked it up, I knew it would be coming home with me. And, it goes quite nicely with my set of 'good' china, don't you think?

Of course I had to come home and have a proper cup of tea. Veddy proper. Since I now have a lovely dining room table (and dining room) AND a teapot, I will be having morning and afternoon tea more often. Even if it's just a tea party for myself. Although you are certainly invited.

(I think I may have to attempt making crumpets! I don't believe I have ever had a crumpet. I love experimental baking...)

"Eff You, Safeway!"

It's so warm! Luckily our apartment isn't too hot yet. I'm hoping it stays cooler since tomorrow I'm having my book club over in the evening, and it can get SO HOT in here. Praying it stays relatively comfortable. If not, we'll go to a local park and have a picnic. I want to show off our new home so I'm hoping it stays bearable.

Speaking of the local park, we went out for a bit this afternoon since it was so nice. We went over to Lake Merritt and went to the Garden Center to walk around and admire all the gardens. Vegetables, dahlias, flowers of all sorts, Japanese and bonsai gardens. Beautiful and relaxing.

Two things happened:

1. A killer squirrel came after Terri. There was a cute one, the "distraction", sitting there very sweetly, eating a green apple and looking adorable. Then, out of nowhere, comes this big fat aggressive squirrel, with big teeth and big bright beady eyes, straight for Terri. Brave Terri ducked behind me because "he can smell the fear!" (I think he was hoping for a handout, but I could be wrong...)

2. Then, we were strolling back to our car, and we saw this sweet little old (Greek?) man sitting there weeding (again... looks can be deceiving!). He was trimming the sorrel and he offered us some. We started chatting... he asked if we had a garden. We told him about our cherry tomatoes and basil. He approved. Then he started in about how bad it was to go to Safeway and buy the expensive, genetically modified, "plastic" vegetables. "It's all plastic! It's not real food! It's killing people! F**k you, Safeway! F**k the corporations! They don't care if people die, they only care about making money! They don't care how many people die because of their bad food! F**k you, Safeway! F**k them all!" and on, and on, and on, even after we drifted away and he was knee-deep in the tomatoes, muttering about Safeway and the corporations.

I happen to agree with him, but, um. Um.

Anyway, it was an amusing walk in the park.

And now we are home. And it's hot. Effing hot?

Gratitude Friday

I am very tired. Let's just put it this way: when I got to work this morning and tried to sign in, I had to spend several seconds staring at the paper, trying to remember my own name.

However, a few moments spent in gratitude seems like a worthy expenditure. Some recent thankfulness:

1. My dad. No one else can keep me on the phone for forty-five minutes talking exclusively about fish and pole-vaulting. Go Dad!

2. My car. I should be getting the title soon, so I just gave her a thorough cleaning. What good little car she is. I love her.

3. Hot tea. I drink tea almost every day. I'm pretty moderate: two cups in the morning, then herbal tea or water all the rest of the day. Sometimes with an afternoon pick-me-up cup. I might need that one today. Anyway... tea is good. It makes me happy. Right now I'm really into PG Tips.

4. My coworkers. Many examples of wonderful people, but one sweet woman who always loans me great books. This weekend I'm looking forward to Wesley The Owl, about an adopted barn owl. It really looks pretty good and very sweet (she is an animal lover too). She brought it to me in honor of my owls.

5. Valcyte. Oh, Valcyte. You have taken us on a rocky path with many twists and turns. However, at the 5-month marker, finally some improvements are being seen. This is truly cause for celebration and gratefulness. May you work wonders during the next, final month.

This week has been an utter blur, but I'm thankful for many things. This weekend, I'm mostly going to be thankful for my bed.

I've recently been alerted...

...that I have fallen off the face of the blogosphere.

So, a super-duper quick update.

1. My best friend was here for a long weekend, so that's reason #1 why I haven't been blogging.

2. Reason #2 is that I've been obscenely busy all the rest of the time.

3. I need a vacation.

Also: owl prints are in! If you won a print and you haven't yet given me your address or selection (I'm looking at you, D'Arcy...) then let me know this week and I'll be sending out owls next week. Yay!

Book-reading is in a sad state... I have yet to crack Fox Woman although I'm dying to read it, and I even talked the library check-out guy into letting me renew it again, although it should have been back in the system weeks ago. I also have the new David Sedaris, and... hmm. Something else, which I've forgotten, but which looks good. I need to renew my library TBR list -- I'm kind of out of books after this stack. I had to return the Maria Tatar... I got about 3/4 of the way through it, does that count?

Ugh. Way too busy. My head hurts. You know it's bad when I start forgetting to eat. That is SERIOUS, people.

Why I Blog: A Survey

Cutie yellow birdies from Academy of Sciences...

1. How long have you been blogging?
Hmm. Probably in total, since 2004 or 2005? I had a LiveJournal account a long time ago but it was so depressing that I totally deleted it.

2. Why did you start blogging?
I initially started blogging because my friend Julia told me it was cool and I should do it. (such a follower!) So I started a blog to try and express myself as I was going through a really hard time. Just shared with my friends and family. Then, as I got more comfortable with it, I wanted to have a 'pretty' blog so I started this one in 2006. Mostly I just like writing and it was fun to have a reason to write. I used to keep a journal but for some reason, stopped... and this sort of took the place of journalling. And then I discovered book and craft blogging. Heart!

3. What have you found to be the benefits of blogging?
I like thinking critically and it's very good writing practice. I also like the community I've found through the book blogging. It's also good incentive for me to take photos, keep up with my art stuff, and keep track of what I'm reading. It's sort of a 'life journal', which I really like. So much of my life is books, art, and cooking... and it's fun to see that reflected in my blog.

4. How many times a week do you post an entry?
Mmm, three to five?

5. How many different blogs do you read on a regular basis?
Hmm. Probably I check in on about 50, but I don't read them all every day. I sort of keep track of what's going on with my favorites (maybe 10-15) and then check in on the others every now and again. I read some friends blogs, a large handful of book blogs, and a bunch of crafty/cooking blogs. And then some random ones that caught my eye.

6. Do you comment on other people’s blogs?
I try to. I especially try to comment on other book bloggers, and my friends' blogs. Some of the more popular blogs who get tons of comments, I don't really comment on. But the small blogs, or the really heartfelt ones, I do comment on. I like having the conversation, and I'm shy, so it's nice to interact with people over the internet where I don't have to make small talk (because we all know how much I *hate* making small talk).

7. Do you keep track of how many visitors you have?
I have a sitemeter thingie, but I really don't understand it, and I really don't know what the numbers mean, so mostly I ignore it. I'm happier that way. Although it is fun to see where people are from.

8. Do you ever regret a post that you wrote?
Well, the ones I'd regret, I usually don't post. I have an unspoken, unwritten policy of not gossiping about other bloggers and/or social media, but sometimes I have a little private rant. And then I delete it so I don't publish by mistake!!

9. Do you think your audience has a true sense of who you are based on your blog?
I think so. Probably more so than most people who know me in real life but aren't close friends. I am pretty shy and am very nervous about revealing too much personal information too soon (in real life), but for some reason it's easier on my blog. I tend to write from the heart, so what you see, is what you get.

10. Do you blog under your real name?
Yeah. But not my full name. But it's right up there in the corner, so I'm not really hiding anything. I don't write anything I wouldn't want anyone who knows me to read, so it's no big deal.

11. Are there topics that you would never blog about?
Yes. Some things are private. But most everything is open for discussion. And if you have any quesitons, you can always email me, and I'll answer any questions.

12. What is the theme/topic of your blog?
Books, cooking, art, self.

13. Do you have more than one blog? If so, why?
I'd like to, but I can't keep up. One is enough. It's also a good exercise in not compartmentalizing.

Book: Swallowing Darkness

Ok, why I can read this and be amused, but not get into Sookie (which is actually decently written), I don't know. Because this is really just junk-food reading. I don't know. There's just something about Ms. Hamilton's writing that is so bad it's good. Well, it's not even really good. But the *story* is interesting. Well, actually it's not all that interesting.

OK, fine. It's all about fairy sex. And vampire sex. But that's her other series (the Anita books, which I really liked in the beginning, but have since given up on). I won't get into the awful double-entendre titles her books get. One hint: the nickname of her main lover in this book is "Darkness." So, if you've been around the block even once, you see what I mean.

Frankly I don't know why I even read this book, except that I was *so* tired and picked it up off the library shelf and realized it was the last book of her fairy-princess series, and I figured, 'eh, why not' and then I was so tired that it was the only thing that could sort of hold my limited attention and be completely undemanding. And, well, sexy fairy-princess stories are kind of fun. Even when they are bad.

So here's the story. Basically, this is Book 7 of her "Meredith Gentry" series (who is actually Meredith Nic Essus... why the "Gentry", I don't remember... that was waaaay back in Book 1). Meredith is a real live fairy princess. Well, she's part fey, part human, and part brownie. And this whole series has been about her fight for the Unseelie crown. But this is not your typical fantasy fairy book. It's technically urban fantasy, I think, but really it's just shlocky action-adventure-sex. With a fairy-tale twist. And really sloppy writing.

In this book... eh, the story doesn't even really matter. I skipped the last two or three books in the series, but I don't think I missed much. Each book is written in tedious detail, almost real-time. People actually have conversations like this (this is abbreviated):

"Hello, Major Walters."
"We're outside, and the siege is breaking up. Your uncle's people are packing up and going home."
"Thank you for that, Major."
"My duty. Now, if you'll just come outside. We'd like to get home."
"We'll be right out. Oh, I have two more men I need to find."
"Would that be Galen Greenhair and Rhys Knight?"
"Yes, that would be them. Are they with you?"
"They are."
"I'm impressed. Even in faerie people don't anticipate my wishes quite that well."

(this goes on for quite awhile. Ummmm, what is the point? there is no point. Eventually everybody just goes outside, as planned. WTF?)

Seriously. This book is 365 pages and full of action, adventure and sex, and I think maybe it covers two or three days. The last book in the series which I read covered perhaps one day. So, doing the math, the entire series covers perhaps two weeks. In great detail. It's almost like you are there! Listening to every single conversation and pointless argument. Right there, sitting in the corner, head in your hands, waiting for the next swordfight, show of magical powers or wanton sex. Tapping your fingers as Merry (Meredith) argues with her lover about whether her cousin wore blue pants or green pants. In detail.

The thing is, it wouldn't even be that bad... It is what it is. But it's so sloppily written that I just have to wonder what the F is going on with her editor? I mean, these books are popular. She is a very popular writer, with tons of fans and a LOT of books. These are not self-published, nor a first novel, which could possibly be excused. This is something like her 25th book or something crazy like that. And yet, we get paragraphs like this:

"When the sound of the ground opening stopped there was no sound from the sluagh. It was so quiet that the sound of rose petals hitting the sand made a noise like snow falling. Then into that silence came the sound of cloth and footsteps. The sound was coming from the stairs."

Ok, that is five "sounds" and one "noise" in four short sentences. Furthermore, a SOUND cannot make a NOISE. It IS a noise. So the rosepetals would make the noise, not the SOUND of the rose petals. I mean, come ON!! I ask you: why??

Her books always read like a second draft. Not a first draft, because clearly she's thought out the storyline and all that. But a second draft -- before you go back and make sure you're not repeating the same word over and over, and before you have SOMEONE ELSE read it to make sure you don't make mistakes like saying that sounds make noises.

This is a problem that plagues all her books, and I just don't get it. I mean, was her publisher too cheap to pay for a proofreader? I really don't get how mistakes and the sheer sloppiness and tediousness gets by and makes it to print.

HOWEVER, my rant aside, these books are good fun. I'll say one thing for her, the girl can write a sex scene. Also, she has a very good way with coming up with particularly gruesome magical powers. And her heroines are always kind of sassy, even if they talk way too much.

What's funny is that this book is like the Anita Blake series, except it solves a lot of the problems she was clearly having with Anita. Anita was very fierce (which was awesome), and extremely conflicted between her Catholic, traditional roots and her very untraditional life (at last count, I believe she had around nine lovers of various supernatural cultures, all of whom needed her... services... on a fairly regular basis. Poor Anita). Her morals were always getting in the way, as much as Ms. Hamilton tried to make her forget them. It was getting tedious.

Enter Princess Meredith Nic Essus. As we are reminded over and over, the fey have no problem with nonmonogamy, so that solves that pesky problem. Six devoted lovers? Not a problem. No fighting, boys -- remember, she loves you all the same. Well, she loves two of you more than the others, but there's no issue if she needs to spread her love around.. and around... and around... and around...

Hey, it's all good fun. I actually really liked the last few pages of this book. I thought they were nicely written with pretty imagery of crownings and kicking some serious fairy butt. And hey, if she needed to have some goblin sex in there as well, who am I to judge?

A Little Booktalk

So, in a rare burst of poly-literacy (reading more than one book at a time... yes, I just made that word up; shouldn't there be a word for that?) I'm reading that Maria Tatar Grimm book (still), still sort of halfway half-heartedly reading Dead Till Dawn (the Sookie Stackhouse book), ashamedly tearing through Swallowing Darkness (uber-trashy Laurell K. Hamilton), and looking longingly at The Fox Woman, which I will start *very* soon as I think it will perfectly suit my mood.

I'll have my review of the trashy Hamilton up soon, because I'm sure I'll finish it tonight and it's one of those books that BEGS to be trashed for its trashiness. Even though I love it. I hate to love it, and I love to hate it. However, being in a somewhat shaky state of almost-good mood (but still very prone to falling off the cliff into Bad Mood), I needed something that would completely distract me while not making me think too hard. I'm surprised that I'm not really into the Sookie book. I don't know why. It's just not really grabbing me.

However, on with the vampire theme, I bought (yes, actually PURCHASED FULL PRICE) a new book today: Let The Right One In. I very much want to read it and I'm betting that my library doesn't carry this (and I'm not going to check, because if it does then I'll be very upset). However, I'm going to save it until I'm either desperate (or in a desperately bad mood), or for October for the RIP challenge. I can't wait. I'm also reluctantly saving the movie for October as well. I bought it at Dark Carnival, the amazing SF/Fantasy/Horror/Mystery bookstore in Berkeley. The staff is appropriately scruffy and surly, but will help you find what you need (although they might not look you in the eye). I need to go back there with a list of books I want to read which I know for sure my library does not have. They have an amazing selection. I really, really wish I had unlimited funds and time to spend there!

Today is a weird day. Sort of not the best day. Been having a lot of those lately. I'm not really sure what to do to turn this trend around. I'm going to try to read my way out of it. Perhaps paint my way out of it as well? (update: stepping in cat vomit does not help my mood. Also, my painting adventures are scaring me. Please: books, save me!)

Grumpy Froggie Speaks

Cute Mr. Grumpy Froggie.
Grumpy Froggie speaks:

"Grrrrump. Grrrump. Grrrrrump"

Isn't he cute?

Nice things that happened this week (to counteract Mr. Grumpy up there):

* Got some kudos for handling a Mr. Grumpy situation well (I was not Mr. Grumpy, for once)
* I enjoyed my big project on Friday. Until my computer starting crashing over and over.
* Two great books.
* A healthy baby boy for my good friend! Yay, new little Colin!

And you know what that new baby means? I get to cook. Everyone knows that families with new babies need lots of food. I'm thinking some kind of amazing lasagna, a pasta salad and some baked goods. Woohoo!

Book: Sharp Objects

And now for something completely different.

I went from Jane Austen to this dark, sticky, disturbing razor of a book. I read about Gillian Flynn's second book in a magazine and the review mentioned her 'disturbing first novel,' and since I like to read things in order, I went and got her first novel, Sharp Objects, from the library.

What a dark book. I really, really could not stop reading this. It's not exactly a thriller, not a crime novel, not a psychological thriller, not a typcial serial-killer story... it's just dark and dreadful and just keeps getting darker the further in you go. Like a mine, which you expect to collapse at any moment.

Camille Preaker, cub reporter (although a bit old at 30-ish to be a cub reporter, I thought), is sent on assignment from Chicago back to her hometown of Wind Gap, Missouri. Since she comes from a third-string newspaper and newspapers are notoriously cheap, she is to stay at her mother's house as she reports on a suspected serial killer case. One little girl was found dead a year ago. And now another, similar in age and temperment, is missing. And soon turns up dead. In exactly the same way. Strangled. Groomed. With all their teeth pulled.

Gruesome.

So that storyline is disturbing enough. And we find out more details. Camille is a cutter. A self-mutilator. She was recently in an inpatient program to treat her behavior. But instead of just slicing, she cuts words. Butter. Cup. Wicked. And her last word: Vanish. She hasn't cut herself since being out of the program. But heading back home, to stay at her mother's house, might just send her over the edge.

So that's pretty disturbing too.

And then there's her mother. A Mommy Dearest if there ever was one. Sick and twisted and scary. Her mother terrified me. And the secrets that get revealed about her mother just get deeper and darker and more frightening.

And then there's her half-sister. The terror of the local middle school. Blond and beautiful and cruel and sadistic, and of course she runs the school in that way that cruel 13-year-old girls do. Only she's worse. Way worse. She's on the cusp of becoming a monster, and she knows it. She doesn't know why she does the things she does. In small, vulnerable moments, she asks Camille how she can stop doing the things she does. Of course Camille, drowning in her mother's venom, can't help her, can only helplessly watch, can only cling to the vines as she gets sucked back deeper and deeper into the nightmare of Wind Gap and her family.

And then there's the pig farm. And the out-of-town detective. And the small-town meanies.

The one thing that bothered me was that there were certain small details that weren't wrapped up quite as well as I would have liked. Creepy 'clues' that turned out to be explained in a very casual way. A few strong statements that were never followed up on. But those were few, and didn't affect the book overall.

Small-town inaccuracies (how can a town that small have so many expensive homes and fancy restaurants?) and loose ends aside, this was a vicious, sharp, breathtakingly disturbing book. I thought it was excellent. The ending was scary and unnerving, although I had it figured out fairly early (but then I changed my mind a few times along the way). I felt tense and vaguely horrified most of the book, but could not stop reading.

Not exactly a comforting read, but if you are fascinated by some of the darker aspects of life and like strong female characters, this would be a good book for you. I couldn't stop thinking about it last night after I finished it. By the way, it is NOT your average serial-killer book. It's much less about the crime, and more about the really, really freaky family dynamics.

You know what it reminded me of? Flowers In The Attic. Although there wasn't any of the creepy incest stuff, there was that whole scary-mommy, pale-beautiful sick children thing. An examination of how sickness like that gets passed along generation to generation. Deeply frightening and disturbing.

It suited my mood perfectly. I can't wait to read her next book!

Book: The Jane Austen Book Club

I wasn't going to read this, because I thought it was fluffy chick-lit, and that's not really my thing.

However, my good friend VB convinced me to read it, said it was charming and quirky and funny and smart and set in the Bay Area, so... I did. I read it. And I loved it!

Cute, cute cute. Light and sweet and funny and quirky and charming and all those things. Kind of like a modern "The Enchanted April." I liked it so much I chose it for our book club pick for this month. I thought it was fun and good summer reading -- nothing too taxing, sort of sweet and wistful and unexpected. Kind of like a really good non-alcoholic summer fizzy drink, the kind that has basil where you would expect mint.

So the setup goes like this: A group of women and one man get together (monthly? every so often? Not sure about frequency) to discuss one Austen book each meeting. I believe there are six members total, one per Austen book (Austen-lovers, don't be angry if I got that wrong!). anyway. Each member is slightly quirky, and if I were more up on my Austen, I'm pretty sure I could align each with an Austen character... as it is, I think I could only identify the "Emma"... clearly I'm not all that up on my Austen (although I love her).

Anyway. One of those sort of meandering books. Each chapter is loosely about each Austen book and the club member who chose it, but everyone's storylines overlap. The way the book is narrated is interesting. It's told from a "we" standpoint. As in, "We thought so-and-so was going to be grumpy, it turns out that they were cheerful. We were suspicious. We wondered what was put in the punch." Etc. Kind of unusual and I liked it. An unusual omniscience.

I know I'm not really saying anything about the plot, and that's for two reasons. One is that the plot is sort of loose and hard to describe (is there really a plot? I'm not sure) and the other is that each little twist and turn is a delightful surprise and I don't want to give any of it away.

Suffice to say that each character is interesting and funny, and things are not all wrapped up tidily with a bow at the end, but the end is satisfying. And there are very funny "book club questions" at the end, asked from the point of view from each character, who each had a distinct way in which they viewed Austen (and the world).

One thing I liked, which isn't giving anything away, is a phrase that is repeated throughout the book, that everyone "has his or her own Austen." In other words, the way a person reads their Austen book is their own personal slant. One person's Austen may be all about manners and how people interact and navigate social circles. Another person's Austen may be about the trials and hardships of women. And yet another's Austen may be overblown and silly and hard to read.

So that makes me think about how although a certain book may be technically the same each time it is read, each person who reads it brings another dimension to the book: their own experiences. So my "Jane Austen Book Club" is different from YOUR "Jane Austen Book Club." (when did I decide to start putting quotes around book titles? Gah!)

Of course that makes sense. What is scary to one person might not be scary to another. What is a lovely romance to one person might be sappy mush to another person. But I like to think of each story as our own story. Told to ourselves, by ourselves. Once we've read it, it's ours. It's a story we can revisit in our heads over and over, as many (or as little) times as we like, embellishing the parts we liked, cutting the parts we didn't. Creating our own personal library in our heads.

Anyway. I hope the rest of my book club likes this book. I'm planning my menu. Sometimes we model our book club menus on the book, but I don't think I will. I'm planning Summer Mediterranean. Perhaps we'll watch the movie as well. Sometimes we do that, if there's a movie based on the book. I heard the movie based on this was pretty good as well.

Comforts

Today was so long. Running, running, running. On top of having my period. And a really late night after a really long day yesterday. I'm really freaking tired.

However, finding comfort in a few things.

* Finally finding deoderant that doesn't stink, smell like flowers, or sickening baby powder. For some reason, Dove Clean Scent is making me happy. Kind of like Caress soap: the smell reminds me of home, or my grandmother's, or something. I feel like I've been looking for non-disgusting deoderant forever. I tried natural brands and they just didn't work for me. Sadly, since I'd much rather smell like mandarin orange and cinnamon or something (they always seem to have the best scents! I wish they worked for me!)

* A really good book. I'm reading Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn, and ooh it's so creepy and good! It takes a lot to creep me out, but last night I had a classic babysitter moment, when I was sitting on the couch reading, and got freaked out, and couldn't look at the sliding glass door to the outside for fear of what I would see.

* Going to bed early. I can't wait to go to bed. Our bed is sooooo comfy. If you are considering buying a new bed, I would seriously recommend natural latex. We have not regretted this purchase one single night. It is so incredibly comfy and supportive and snuggly. Awful as the move was, I'm really glad that we got this new bed.

* Cereal for dinner. I don't actually get to have cereal for dinner tonight, but I really want this. I would like something retro, like Golden Grahams, or maybe even just corn flakes. All we have is super-high-fiber healthy cereal. Nothing comforting about that. It might be an oatmeal night. I feel like a baby.

Oh, I finished a book. I should write my review. However, much too tired tonight. I really can't wait to go to bed.

The Weekend

This photo makes me look like I have a double chin. Perfect.

This weekend went by so quickly!

You know, I guess when you are working one full-time job and three part-time jobs, plus creative stuff and keeping up with your sweetie and house... a person can get kind of tired. I was tired on Saturday. I couldn't sleep in (petsitting duties) but we just sort of stayed close to home all day. I don't even remember what all happened. Not very much, I can tell you that.

Sunday was better. We had slept better so were able to get out and do a few things. Got Terri some much-needed jeans, looked at a sofa which we really loved... but eventually decided that a) it wasn't exactly right (although so close) and b) maybe right now is not the best time to figure out the whole 'bring-in-new-sofa-get-rid-of-semi-new-but-really-uncomfortable-sofa-while-having-out-of-town-guest-coming-soon' thing. I bought our current sofa at the college-kid futon store for $400 when we moved into the new place because I was desperate, exhausted, and needed a couch now. It's fine for what it is (cheap, relatively attractive college furniture) but it's really not ideal for someone who has to lay down much of the time. Also, the freaking cushions keep sliding off. Drives me crazy. So... someday in the semi-near future, we will buy a grown-up couch. Hopefully at one of these crazy recession sales we keep seeing. Also hopefully with delivery included, because I cannot spare the brain power necessary to figure out how to hire guys, the truck, etc., AND sell our old couch... all at the same time. Nope, can't do it. So, for now we are stuck with the make-do couch.

Today I realized how very tired I am. I felt pretty okay most of the day, but I really need the rest of the week to stay at home and do not much. Sadly, because work is CRAZY BUSY right now, that isn't going to happen. All my own projects will have to remain half-done until next weekend, when hopefully I'll get it together to complete them. I hate it when I get so tired that I'm half-assing everything. I wonder if it's better to not do them at all, than to just sort of get them partially done, straggling along, not really done correctly, etc. I guess it depends on the situation.

I'm not really tired, I guess. I mean, I am tired, but I'm not exhausted or anything. I'm just kind of burned out. I need a little break. Staying home in bed and reading magazines and maybe having Chinese food delivered sounds nice. That would do just fine.

However, for now I shop for the groceries... at the new Berkeley Bowl! I don't think I'll actually be shopping at the new location very often because the old one is much closer to our house, but it's awfully nice. If you are not in the Bay Area, here's a little rundown on the Berkeley Bowl: the best grocery store for produce, hands-down. The produce area is as large as many entire grocery stores. They have everything, at much better prices than regular grocery stores. And the rest of the store has everything else you'd need, with a nice happy hippie-granola vibe that makes me happy. What doesn't make me happy is the parking situation (the parking lot is infamous for the sheer madness of it), nor the incredibly narrow aisles. People routinely abandon carts and go off on foot to collect their produce, because you can't steer your cart in the crammed aisles. It's crazy. I gave up shopping there on the weekend because it just instantly put me in a bad mood. However, now that there are two stores, hopefully the over-crowding will be eased.

The new store, which only opened on June 4th, is gorgeous, with wide aisles, a better-organized produce section, and someone clearly put a lot of thought into the flow of everything. They also have a parking garage. It's kind of awesome. However, a bit shiny for me. I think I still prefer the grungy old one. Which works out well since it's only 10 minutes from my house, as opposed to 20 minutes (the new one).

(I just realized that here is proof of how tired I am... I just spent two big paragraphs talking about a grocery store.)

Anyway. Yes. Not exactly running on all cylinders. I feel okay, and I'm really not too tired, but my brain feels kind of numb, and I know I'm just much more on the edge of grumpiness than I'm comfortable with. As soon as Terri is off Valcyte (either 4 or 6 weeks, she's trying to decide), then I'm taking a few days off to celebrate. We're going to do a home-vacation soon too -- either when she gets off it, or a few weeks afterwards (apparently sometimes after you stop taking the Valcyte, you can feel EVEN STILL WORSE for a bit as your body gets used to, you know, not having toxins poured into it twice a day). Maybe stay a night or two somewhere, if we can. It's all a big unknown at this point.

But a lot of laying around, magazines, chocolate, and bubble baths will be in order, I can tell you that might right now.

...and the winner is...

OK, first the real answers... I realize these were sort of extra-hard, but I knew if I made them any easier then certain people would get them ALL right and then what would I do? So...

1. What was the main industry in the town I grew up in?
b. logging (I grew up in a tiny logging town called Philomath. Giant log trucks, sawmills, loggers... the whole bit.)

2. If pressed, which will I claim to be my favorite book?
d. Little Women (I have read this approximately one million times and I still love it)

3. I have a guilty secret. Although it pains me to admit it, I love:
c. Really trashy reality TV (I have very little patience for movies or regular TV; however, trashy reality TV is just silly enough that I can watch certain shows and still do other things.)

4. Which two subjects was I only a few credits short of minoring in, in college?
c. German and Philosophy (Oh come on! Two such very useful subjects like German and Philosophy? I'm surprised more people didn't get this. I was clearly going for 'marketable' in college...)

5. I'm having a nightmare where I'm forced to do something I hate to do. What is it?
c. Make small talk (Hate, hate, hate, hate making small talk. I totally suck at it and usually say something completely lame and stupid. I hate it. My personal hell is a networking event.)

6. If I had my absolute choice and freedom of how to live and what to do, it would be:
a. Small cottage with picket fence, big garden, small working farm: microfarmer and artist (while making this question, I was surprised that I really didn't want a big house or much luxury. I really kind of like small-scale, hard-work, make-it-mine kind of lifestyle, apparently)

7. If could eat this every day without gaining an ounce, I would without a moment's hesitation:
a. homemade biscuits (There is something about pillowy, soft, fluffy, buttery biscuits. I would eat them over cookies, pie, or regular bread ANY day)

8. When painting (owls, for instance), I like to listen to:
a. 80s metal: Metallica, Def Leppard (I don't think anyone guessed this one! It's so funny, but this sort of music really helps me drown out any other sort of thoughts/feelings/distractions and I can just focus on what my hands are doing without getting all anxious and tripping myself up.)

9. Keeping in mind that I am an Oregonian, what is my very favorite way to spend a rainy afternoon (as opposed to my usual)
d. driving around, taking photos, getting muddy (I like ALL of these things in the rain: shopping, people-watching, reading, movie-watching, but I love getting outside in the rain.)

10. As a child, I used to wear this for my town's annual parade:
c. a sunbonnet (like Laura Ingalls Wilder) (every year my town had a parade in honor of the rodeo that happened each summer... there was a 'kids parade' before the real parade, and since our town was along the Applegate Trail, all the kids dressed up like pioneers. I had a great sunbonnet which my mom made!)

And a bonus, tie-breaker question:

What is one of my hidden talents?
a. I write fantastic craigslist ads (it's true! For some reason I write pretty good ads. Who knew?)

And now for the winner:

Erin! (actually tied with D'Arcy, but thank goodness for the tie-breaker... D'Arcy, you have such faith in my memorization skills!)

But, since you were all so sweet to take the quiz, I've decided to give ALL OF YOU a print!

So, email me at daphneannphillips(at)gmail.com and let me know your choice and your address, and I'll send them along!

Enjoy! And thank you for reading my blog!

A Meme, and My First Giveaway!

I've been tagged by Stefanie to do this meme, plus I'd like to do a little giveaway as a way to say "thank you" to everyone who read this blog -- it means so much to me.

Rules: Try to answer the following questions, and leave your answers in the comments section.

I've made these a little tricksy since some of my close friends read this blog and I want to make it at least a little challenging! Whoever gets the most right answers first, will win their choice of owl print (8 x 10 print)! You will have the prestigious honor of being the first (besides my mom) to have an owl print by me. You'll be able to say... "I won the first owl print, waaaaaay back when, when she was just a struggling blogger..."

Just kidding. I hope you like them. Good luck on the quiz!

1. What was the main industry in the town I grew up in?
a. farming
b. logging
c. tech industry
d. fishing

2. If pressed, which will I claim to be my favorite book?
a. The Poisonwood Bible
b. The Lord of the Rings trilogy
c. The Terror
d. Little Women

3. I have a guilty secret. Although it pains me to admit it, I love:
a. Macaroni and cheese from the box
b. Driving without my seat belt on
c. Really trashy reality TV
d. Drinking milk straight from the carton

4. Which two subjects was I only a few credits short of minoring in, in college?
a. English Literature and Psychology
b. Home Ec. and Fine Art
c. German and Philosophy
d. Poetry and American Literature

5. I'm having a nightmare where I'm forced to do something I hate to do. What is it?
a. Shop for clothes
b. Give a presentation in front of a crowd
c. Make small talk
d. Vacuum

6. If I had my absolute choice and freedom of how to live and what to do, it would be:
a. Small cottage with picket fence, big garden, small working farm: microfarmer and artist
b. Big rambling country house, lots of roses, lots of pets: personal chef and artist
c. Italian villa, personal chef, in-house masseuse: photographer and artist
d. Modern house in the woods, artfully landscaped yard, green Jag in the driveway; jewelry designer and artist

7. If could eat this every day without gaining an ounce, I would without a moment's hesitation:
a. homemade biscuits
b. my homemade pie. any kind.
c. my mom's chocolate chip cookies
d. homemade bread

8. When painting (owls, for instance), I like to listen to:
a. 80s metal: Metallica, Def Leppard
b. 70s classic rock: Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin
c. classical: Beethoven, Satie
d. awesome introspective women: Tori Amos, Liz Phair

9. Keeping in mind that I am an Oregonian, what is my very favorite way to spend a rainy afternoon (as opposed to my usual)
a. city mall shopping, coffeeshop lunch, people-watching
b. reading by the fire, cat in lap
c. watching movies while snuggled under blankies
d. driving around, taking photos, getting muddy

10. As a child, I used to wear this for my town's annual parade:
a. fairy wings (like Titania)
b. a tiger costume (like Tigger)
c. a sunbonnet (like Laura Ingalls Wilder)
d. a t-shirt with my dad's business logo stenciled on it (like, um, every other kid who's dad had a small business)

And a bonus, tie-breaker question (will not count against you if you have all the others correct):

What is one of my hidden talents?
a. I write fantastic craigslist ads
b. I am absurdly good at cleaning the bathroom
c. I can recite any Shel Silverstein poem from memory
d. I can sleep through the Apocalypse

Thanks! I'm looking forward to this. I'll keep the meme/quiz open until Sunday at noon, PST!

A review of the owls:

Pink Owls
Red Owl
Blue Owl

Blue Meanies

This is not a Blue Meanie. This is a gorgeous butterfly from the amazing exhibit at the new Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park. Prettiest butterfly I've ever seen.

Terri and I have a code word for when the grumpies hit. We call them the Blue Meanies. They sit on your shoulder and weigh you down and say untrue things. We hates them.

Today I was trying very hard not to succumb to the Meanies. The day actually started off fairly well. I awoke to the sound of rain pounding on the windows, which always sounds so peaceful and magical to me. Then -- thunder boomed! Totally unusual for this area. I loved it. (the kitties... not so much). Once I got to work, things seemed relatively okay. For a couple of hours. And then the bad things started to pile up. Files crashed. Upgrades would not download. PDFs would not generate correctly. Coworkers were being either highly uncooperative or very loud. Before too long, it was a siege of the Blue Meanies.

I tried a few different remedies. I went on a break. I bought a new comb and a silver polishing cloth. I had some lunch. I was a very good girl and just had soup and did not buy any chocolate, although I probably should have.

However, once I got back from my break, the meanies were too big. I caved. I had Jujyfruits (a giant box on sale for .99!). I loved them. They made me sort of sick. But at least I wasn't weighed down with Blue Meanies any longer.
***
Shea, who was the one coworker NOT being either obnoxious or too loud, had a very good suggestion. "Abandon ship. Do something else." So I did. I spent the rest of the afternoon sorting and filing photos. I cleaned my desk. I thought about my gigantic happy pile of creative projects waiting for me at home. I fantasized about long weekends at local Zen retreats.

And by the time I left work, I felt better. No more meanies. Just a case of sugar overdose.

And a reminder to not take things so seriously.

In support of this, I hereby declare it Time To Bring Out The Summer Reading. From now until September, it's a free-for-all of whatever silly book strikes my fancy. You know, as opposed to my usual carefully selected high-minded literature and edifying publications.

I took a look and counted up my bookcount so far this year: I'm at 30. Pokey puppy! And half the year is over! I had better hop to it if I want to get to 75 by the end of the year, let alone 100 (my annual goal, which I never seem to reach). However, it doesn't really matter since I'm getting lots more creative stuff done instead of reading. So, either way, it's all good.

Book: Mother Night

Ok. How much do I love Kurt Vonnegut, and how much did I love this book?

HOW MUCH? A whole lot. A lot, a lot, a lot.

So, the incomparable Kurt Vonnegut: what can I say that hasn't been said already? Sharp, funny, clear, insightful without being smarmy, a true American voice (I don't even know what the means, but clearly he is that) -- he just speaks to me. His writing goes straight to my heart like almost nobody else. I don't even know what it is exactly; I find myself tearing up over and over as I read it. He has a gentleness, contrasted with the sometimes harsh subject matter. I feel as if it's my heart reading the book, not my mind.

Howard Campbell, American playwright living in Germany, is recruited by the American forces to serve as a spy. His duties will include writing vitriolic, hate-filled progaganda to support the Nazi cause, while simulanteously broadcasting secret messages through a code made up of pauses, inflections, certain words. Although he does not agree with the Nazis, he is very, very good at his job. Too good.

So good, that later, after the war, he is one of the most-hated, most-wanted war criminals. His beloved wife is gone; most likely she is dead. His parents have disowned him. He has no friends. Through the intervention of his recruiter, General Wirtanen, he is free... but is he really?

It's a story of what happens during the war, and after the war, and long after the war. It's a story of love, lost love, and love found again. A story of bravery and cowardice. The ravages of war. Justice as determined by man, and justice as determined by God.

But to me, it's a beautiful showcase for Vonnegut's heartwrenching, deceptively simple writing, which reaches in and rips my heart out while tenderly whispering universal truths.

There are plenty of good reasons for fighting... but no good reason ever to hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty Himself hates with you, too. Where's evil? It's that large part of every man that wants to hate without limit, that wants to hate with God on its side. It's that part of every man that finds all kinds of ugliness so attractive. It's that's part of an imbecile that punishes and vilifies and makes war gladly.

...and I, hiding from many people who might want to hurt or kill me, often longed for someone to give that cry for me, to end my endless game of hide-and-seek with a sweet and mournful -- "Olly-olly-ox-in-free."

So many beautiful passages in this book. Do I love the parts about the love and the love lost, or the parts about war and the aftermath? I love them both. I love the dilemma -- are you a patriot, are you a good person -- if you commit the highest crimes against humanity "for a good cause" -- even if you're on the "good" side? Are you innocent or not? When you play a part so well... where does the acting end and the real you begin?

And again I am reminded why I cried when the word came that Kurt Vonnegut died. I don't usually cry when celebrities die. But I cried for George Harrison, and I cried for Vonnegut.

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."
"Make love when you can. It's good for you."

Fun With Mail

A week or two ago I decided to try canning for the first time on my own, since living at home with my parents. When I was growing up, all summer long was canning, picking, shelling, blanching, freezing, weeding... we had a huge garden. It was a big job. I hated the heat from the canning and was afraid because I witnessed a jar or two exploding.

But, I decided it was time to face my fear and give it a try on my own.

First, you wash all the jars. (this was very satisfying)

Then, you boil everything, including the lovely yummy rhubarb-strawberry-apple preserves you decided to make.

Then, you fill the hot jars with the hot preserves, clean the edges, put the tops on, screw it down tight and turn it over to seal.

Then, if all goes well, you have lovely little jars of preserve. Apparently you are supposed to do a final hot water bath before you are officially "done," but I wasn't aware of this and didn't really have the equipment. So, hopefully there wasn't any botulism floating around my house.

So it turns out that Tammie had never tasted rhubarb. How can this be?!? This must be rectified at once! So I sent her a jar. Which apparently she then proceeded to hoard and not share with her children. I approve.

Then, a week later, I got a nice fat envelope in the mail from Miss Tammie. No, it wasn't a doctor's bill for the botulism case... it was this lovely little birdie clutch! She made this for me. I am so touched.

I love, love, love the grumpy owl on the inside flap. Isn't he adorable? I love this little bag so much. I am plotting what to put into it. Lipstick and a credit card? Paintbrushes? Birdseed?

Fun with the post! I love this! I sent off quite a few care packages last week, which was fun. It's so much fun to get packages in the mail.