Book: The Enchanted April

This was our book club book pick (for April, of course!). Oh, how I loved this book. I wish it wasn't over. I adored it.

Mrs. Wilkins and Mrs. Arbuthnot, two mild-mannered English ladies (in the 20s or so) are tired of their dreary, cold, boring, never-changing lives. One day, they see an advertisement for an Italian castle... covered in wistaria and flowers. Instantly they are captivated with the Italian fantasy, and they determine that they must go, for a month in April.

To make the trip more affordable, they ask two other ladies (strangers to them) to come along. Mrs. Fisher -- a veddy proper widow, and Lady Catherine Dester -- beautiful, bored, and dying to get away from her life.

How these four ladies overcome their various quirks and impediments and become friends, and how love blooms in unexpected places -- all due to the magic of San Salvatore -- is the central story of the book. Each character is so fully envisioned (and delightfully quirky) and so charming (or, in some cases, not), I instantly fell in love with them and cheered them on throughout the short book.

The castle itself, and the coast of Italy, is another central 'character' in the book -- providing everyone with sun, simple pleasures, abundant flowers and a special way of making the world seem a nicer place, and makes each character want to be their best self. Usually this sort of happy book would be met with eye-rolls from me; however, this particular book was nothing short of delightful and made me happy to read it. San Salvatore passed along its magic through the pages to me as well.

I loved the character of Mrs. Wilkins the best. About 30, flighty, odd, shy, mousey -- she fully blooms in the sun of Italy and becomes so sure of herself, so happy and so clear about all the good things in her life, I just wanted to be her friend, myself. She remains utterly quirky and funny, and so devoid of guile -- she lends her sunny, spontaneous love to everyone around her. I wanted to be like her, myself. It makes one think about the heavy darkness one might carry around one's self (you know, just theoretically) and how it's so not necessary. To be open and quirky and loving and generous -- so much nicer for everyone.

I loved this book, and I also love the movie of the same name. Today's the last day of April, but there's no reason why this book wouldn't be lovely in May as well.

Book(s): The Tightwad Gazette I, II, III

I'm behind on my book reports! Been busy. Also, been reading these fascinating and helpful books straight through.

I bought the first book (for $1 at a thrift store -- how perfect!) quite a few years ago and read it straight through, unable to stop with the amazing tightwaddy tips. Same thing this time around -- I had to read all three books straight through, completely fascinated.

More than just tips, however, Amy Dacyczyn joyfully promotes a way of life -- one of freedom from debt, guilt, money-related stress. As she says, "Deprivation is doing without. Tightwaddery is doing it without money, but you are not doing without." I love that quote. The fundamental difference between deprivation and tightwaddery is creativity. For instance, rather than sitting around feeling bad that you can't afford shiny new clothes (or that you simply don't want to spend the money on them) -- instead, get creative! Search for fun finds at garage sales, thrift shops, hold clothing swaps, etc. It's all about creative problem-solving (which I love!).

It doesn't matter what your financial goals are: whether it's to get out of debt, save for a house, make the monthly paycheck last longer, or if you simply value living frugally, these books are amazing warehouses of little tips that add up.

She makes the point over and over that it's not just the one-big money-saving tip. It's tens, hundreds of little things that save a few cents here, a few dollars there. It all adds up.

Some of the best tips I got were:

1. A grocery price-book (or simply keeping track of grocery store prices). Rather than buying all your groceries at one store, make a 'price book' recording the lowest price of frequently-bought items from all your local stores. Once you've figured out the lowest price for each item, you can rotate your shopping weekly and only pay the lowest price. If you buy all your groceries at one store, you end up paying higher prices because grocery stores lower some prices and inflate others. If you only pay the lowest price each time, your grocery bill becomes significantly lower. Better yet, keep track of when sales occur and stock up when the lowest price occurs. This alone can save hundred of dollars a year. I've started doing this informally and it really does make a difference. As soon as I find a good notebook (the right size to take to grocery stores in my purse), I'll be doing this more formally.

2. Rather than always looking for "good deals" -- look for ways that you can easily do without, and not make a purchase at all. Simplify everything you can.

3. On the flip side, when you find a truly good deal on something you know you will use, it's worth it to stockpile (soap, socks, whatever).

I've been trying to make a game of seeing how cheaply we can live without noticing a difference. I've been doing it ever since January and I can honestly say that I really haven't noticed a difference. The only place I've noticed anything is in my bank account (yay!). Terri says she feels the same -- our meals continue to be healthy and yummy, we are clean and presentable, and we really don't need anything. It becomes a game to see how cheaply I can decorate the bathroom, how long we can go without buying books (hooray for the library!). Amy goes to the lengths of calculating savings for every action -- I don't usually do that, but I did stick a (free) calculator in my purse so I can make good decisions at, say, the grocery store.

Dacyczyn has been criticized for being too extreme. I disagree. She had a goal, and she found a way to achieve it (buy a large New England farmhouse on 7 acres on her husband's $30,000/year salary). She and her large family live in financial freedom and want for nothing. She also makes the point that if you enjoy working, or if you happen to make plenty of money for your lifestyle, you don't need to be as extreme. However, every little bit helps, no matter what your situation is.

I found these books incredibly fun, inspiring, useful and instructive. As soon as I can find the other two at a garage sale or thrift store, I'll complete my collection. In the meantime, I'm glad my library has them! I'm sure Amy would approve.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I have the opportunity to try out working four 10-hour days. Which means, an extra day to lay around with the paper (so to speak). I'm all for it. Working the five-day schedule is really getting to me, and I could use the extra weekday (Monday) to get all my errands done (instead of doing them on the weekends along with everyone else in the free world). Not to mention spending extra time with all the cuties here at home (human and feline). So, I'm going to give it a try for a couple weeks and see how it goes. It'll be an extra hour in the morning and an extra hour in the evening -- not too bad. The other option is coming in to work at 6:30 am (and leaving at 5) and I just don't think I can handle that. So, we'll see. A week or two of adjustment and I'm sure it will be just fine.

My brother was here for the past four days and we had such a good time. We wore ourselves out. We went to see elephant seals (from now on to be known as 'sea elephants'), had excellent food, made excellent food, went on a huge 10+ mile hike (straight uphill and then straight downhill... so grueling on the calves!), played Raving Rabbids for hours, went out for massive amounts of ice cream, went to the new Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park, etc. etc. We had a great time. I miss him already; wish we lived closer together. Photos TK (that means "to come" in news-speak).

I feel like changes are right around the corner. I don't even know what I mean by that, but it feels like there will be some shifts happening soon. If nothing else, having an extra day off every week will be a huge change (and a welcome one). No more fighting the weekend crowds at Berkeley Bowl... time to exercise in the middle of the day for three days straight... and think of all the extra reading time! :)

Right now, however, I'm exhausted. I need an extra day off right now. However, this is a short work week as well. I have a two-day class in San Francisco Thursday and Friday. Yippee! Sitting in a computer lab with a bunch of strangers! Wahoo!

House Full Of Hotties

It's nearly 8 pm and it's still almost 80 degrees. It's just barely starting to cool off, which is a relief. Everyone here at home has been melting all day long. The last three days have been hot, hot, hot. Only today did we remember that we have a ceiling fan in the dining room (first time we've turned it on since we moved). Cleo (the big bully) is afraid of it and so won't come into the room. She just stares at the moving fan and then slinks away, tail tucked. Silly kitty.

So we'll be looking into an inexpensive window AC unit for these occasional super-hot days. When it gets over 90 degrees, it's just too hot for our elderly kitties and Terri's tolerance for heat and cold is extremely lowered on her Valcyte treatment. Thankfully during spring, summer and fall we don't get over 80 or 85 very often.

I've been flipping through various books and watching movies -- too hot to get into anything very deeply. We watched Apocalypse Now Redux the other night -- I actually really enjoyed it, which surprised me. I thought it was strange and beautiful.

It should be cooling off tomorrow, so we're just going to 'enjoy' the last night of this freak heat wave by following the kitties' example and flopping around. I think I might have ice cream for dinner. Sometimes I love being an adult.

"That was not a pleasant experience"

OK, maybe you've gotten the email. "Amazing Chocolate Cake In Only 5 Minutes!" But nobody ever says whether it's any good or not. Don't you want to know??

Tonight Terri and I were at home watching a movie and I suddenly remembered that recipe. We were going a little stir-crazy so I thought I would try it just for fun.

Well, it certainly was easy. And it puffed up inside the microwave quite impressively.

And after 3 minutes of microwave magic, voila! We have a cup of... well, something. Something brown and vaguely cake-like.

It smelled pretty good. I tried it first. Well, dear readers, it wasn't very good, I'm sorry to report. The texture was thick and rubbery. Almost as if we coated the kitchen sponge in cake batter and baked it. Yes, kitchen-sponge-like would be how I would describe it. But, I tried a couple more bites to see if it got any better. It didn't.

Terri was game and took a bite. Her verdict? "That was not a pleasant experience."

The worst part is now we are left hanging: we almost had cake! And now, no cake! So sad.

If you feel like trying this experiment at home, here's the recipe. I would recommend microwaving it for maybe 2.5 minutes instead of 3. If you're desperate enough to make the cake, that is.

4 Tablespoons flour

4 Tablespoons granulated sugar

2 Tablespoons cocoa

1 Egg

3 Tablespoons milk

3 Tablespoons canola or vegetable oil (or 1.5 Tablespoons oil and 1.5 Tablespoons applesauce)

Pinch salt

Cooking spray

1 Mug

Coat inside of mug with cooking spray. Mix flour, sugar, salt and cocoa. Stir in egg. Pour in milk and oil and combine thoroughly.

Put in microwave for 3 minutes on maximum power (1,000 watts). Let it sit for five or so minutes before spooning the cake onto a plate.

Honored

Today I got honored at a work-function luncheon thingie. It was supposed to be a surprise but people accidentally dropped hints about it during the week, so I guessed. Still, it was awfully sweet. Kristi Yamaguchi was at the event. She's very, very tiny and adorable.

I have a really hard time with things like these. On the one hand, I rationally know they could have chosen any number of other women at my table (who, I would argue, are WAY more deserving of being honored than I). On the other hand, I have such a hard time accepting that I could ever, in any universe, deserve any sort of recognition that I actually felt really awkward and weird.

Work: "Hey, Daph! We love you! We're honoring you! Let's give you an award and love and encouragement!"

Me: "Huh? Why on earth would you want to do that? This is a cruel joke. Please stop."

(I also have to say that admitting all this makes me feel bad too, but this is one of those times where I'm trying to be transparent and not-perfect and messy. So, here you go.)

(and did I mention that Kristi Yamaguchi is about the tiniest person alive?)

Wish List

Mostly I just wanted to show my adorable Easter Egg tree, complete with chick. So freaking cute! I am not wanting to take it down, the little chicks (there are 3 out of a dozen eggs on the tree) cheer me up every day. Maybe one more week.

However. I have been so good recently with not taking on big housey projects. But tonight I am really fighting the urge to create huge to-do lists. So, instead, I will create a nice wish-list of things I would like to get done around here. Maybe that will do for now.

1. Finish the walk-in closet. Actually this is almost done. I bought some of those vacuum-seal (suck-all-the-air-out) bags for extra pillows and such, and that worked well until they fell down off the shelf and one of them sprung a leak. So I need to fix that. And then finish putting stuff away in there. We have a big foam tri-fold futon in there that I'm trying to decide if we should keep or sell. Will be having a houseguest next week, maybe that will help determine. It's supposed to be the guest bed, but if nobody likes it, then we'll get one of those big double-high air mattresses instead (and use it for camping as well).

2. Dress up the bathroom. People, I have an ugly bathroom. It's so ugly, it's almost charming. It's got a nice mustard-and-dark-brown theme happening. And big blank walls. And mustard-colored sink and toilet. It's lovely. I'm tempted to put up some 70s-style paintings of mushrooms or big-eyed children, but I think Terri would kill me. So we've got to come up with something else. Plants? Modern art on the walls? I have no idea. Can you combat the 70s with something wildly modern? I'm not a fan of super-modern but this room needs HELP.

3. Inexpensive rug for the living room. The living room is looking pretty good, but it needs a rug. For one thing, the couch keeps sliding around. For another thing, it's damn cold in there. I don't feel like paying for a rug, so I've got to keep my eyes out for that magical something that will pop up unexpectedly.

4. My dresser needs refinishing. I have no idea how to refinish my dresser, or if it's possible. It's not painted, but the finish is deeply scratched in some places, and there is a burn mark on the top (which I cover up with pretty fabric, but still). It needs some help. Hey! There's this thing! It's called The Internets! I bet it can tell me how to fix this.

5. Organizing drawers. We have lots of drawers. Desk drawers, cabinet drawers, dresser drawers. This is one place my Virgo comes out. I would dearly like these all to be organized, if for no other reason than so that I can put away the last few remaining boxes and bags full of tiny where-do-I-put-this type stuff.

6. Other Random Stuff: Need to touch-up paint the walls (there are some big, obvious white spots where the last person spackled and I wanted the landlady out of our house so I said I'd do it... and haven't yet). Need to get a bike rack for the hall for our bikes. Need to figure out what to do with the messy and precarious back hallway. Need to do another de-clutter sweep to get rid of all the stuff that somehow made it over to the new place even with my massive decluttering before we moved.

Maybe after my brother comes. He won't care about any of this, so I won't worry about it before he comes. But we have some other guests coming over the next few months and I would like the house to be 'put away' by then. Plus it will be warmer and lighter, longer.

So that's my list. I've written it down, I'm putting it out there, and now it can happen, whenever I'm ready. Right? Right!

At Last!

I really need to learn how to make my photos larger in Blogger. This one is much cuter larger. Anyway. I finally downloaded a bunch of pictures. I will resist my usual urge to post them all at once and stretch them out...

Anyway, here's a cutie little guy down at Lake Merritt, looking all woodland and Little Red Riding Hood and all that. I just want to pick him up and snuggle him! But I don't want rabies on top of everything else, so he'll just have to remain cute and snuggly from a distance.

Not much going on. I started a book last night but it's really not what I'm looking for, so I think I'm going to read The Crystal Cave next for OUAT3. I don't think I've ever read it; at least, not all of it. I may have started it a time or two. I love all things Arthurian and I know this is a well-respected series (I think?) so let's hope it's good!

I am also trying to find a good straight-up old-school fantasy book, which I don't usually read. I've never read Piers Anthony, so maybe one of those, and I've always heard that the Earthsea novels are great (and I love Ursula LeGuin) so I might try those, although I like to start from the beginning and I'm not sure which is the first novel. I thought about choosing it on the cover alone, a la Kate (in her Unbuttoned Yet Tucked In series) -- my criteria would be that it would have to have a dragon, a sword, and possibly a castle in the distance. But definitely a dragon. But when I went to the library to try this method out, I just couldn't resign myself to the dismally bad stories. So I'm looking for recommendations.

I haven't been baking much lately and I miss it. I felt like I was using baking as a stress-reliever, which is fine and all, except that I was eating altogether too much sugar and it was really making me fatigued. I haven't been eating much sugar lately and I really notice the change -- I can actually wake up in the morning! But I do miss the baking. I wonder what's to be done about this dilemma?

Life with Valcyte continues to be challenging, but Terri is a trooper and we're halfway done (yay!!). We are relying on lots of books, lots of movies, lots of foot massages and good food. We manage to get out once a week or so and wander around the drugstore or go visit the birds at the lake (just a few minutes away), and it's not too bad. But it's not me that's taking the Valcyte! I actually get to go to work and stuff. For Terri I know this is really an agonizing process, and she's stuck at home all the time. I admire her strength and grit. I do wonder how she'd be doing if she weren't on it (since she was doing some better after Christmas but before we started on the Valcyte), but we'll find out soon enough. In the meantime, thank God for Netflix and the library.

Book: Waiter Rant

Waiter, I'd like to send back my book.

You know what this reminded me of? Not Buying It, which I also didn't love. I liked this book a little better than Not Buying It, but not by much.

I was going to say "What is it about books based on blogs?" but then I realized that Not Buying It wasn't based on a blog, although it felt like it should have/could have been. Which is just reminding me how annoyed I was by that book.

OK, moving on. Waiter Rant is written by the guy who wrote the popular blog of the same name. I never read the blog, but I remember hearing about it and thought it sounded amusing. I never worked as a waitress, so maybe I'd feel differently about the book if I had.

But whether I've waited tables or not, there's just no getting around the clunky writing and overuse of 'fancy' words like "lithe" used more than once within memory's reach.

This book also suffers from the short-view vs. long-view focus shift that plagued Not Buying It. It's like an inside-out hourglass essay over and over and over again. Let me set it up for you:

1. Waiter sits by the window, looking sad, thinking Reflective Thoughts.
2. Customers come in the door. Waiter sizes them up, makes judgments.
3. Writer/waiter then takes judgments and expands them into a global observation. For many paragraphs. Insert broad generalizations, world-weary cynicism, or wannabe insights as desired.
4. Waiter snaps back to reality, finishes up with customers. Makes more snide comments.
5. Customers leave. Waiter smokes out back, assumes gloomy posture once more.

Repeat for 22 chapters.

Well, I'm being a little harsh. But there was really almost no energy in this book. All attempts at flashy, cynical Anthony Bourdain-style writing were ham-fisted at best. Also as in Not Buying It, I really didn't get what I wanted. What I wanted was shocking customer anecdotes. Waitstaff running amok. I wanted to never eat in a restaurant again because I was so disgusted by what really happens when waiters turn bad. Instead, I got a 38-year-old guy who doesn't want to be a waiter anymore, who happens to write a funny blog that got some attention, and now he's turning it into a book... about being a 38-year-old waiter who writes a blog and got a book deal. Oh, and a few really lame customer stories. And crazy restaurant owners. But where's the fun?

I read Kitchen Confidential and loved it. I trusted Bourdain's blurb on the cover. I shouldn't have. It's like fish on Mondays. Shouldn't have ordered it.

So why did I read it? Well, I kept hoping for some good stories. And it was mildly entertaining, and I really needed a brainless book. If I had been a waitress at some point, maybe I would have enjoyed it more. But it was kind of like expecting blinis and caviar and getting pancakes (from a mix).

Oh, all right. The parts about the foodies were pretty funny. And I learned that my standard tip (usually between 17-20%) is adequate (barely). But, ho-hum. Maybe the blog was better.

The No 'Poo Experiment: Conclusions

So, after a total of about a month and a week or two of not using regular shampoo on my hair, I finally caved and have now switched to "low 'poo." Here's what happened.

I decided to try this experiment to bring out more waviness in my hair, see if I could tame the frizzies, and ultimately use less shampoo (which has nasty chemicals, although that was not my primary reason). I have shoulder-length, very fine, kinda wavy hair that can turn loosely curly with some coaxing.

Week 1 was fine. I used baking soda and water to 'wash' my hair, and rinsed with diluted apple cider vinegar. It looked pretty good. The ends felt a bit dry, but I liked the enhanced waviness and the 'piecey-ness' that happened.

Weeks 2-4 were dicey. Some days my hair looked great; full, curly, wavy, bouncy, pretty. Other days the roots seemed really oily and gross, and the ends could get super-dry and tangled. This seemed to vary with how much I rinsed my hair -- the more rinsing (in plain water) the better. So I experimented with washing only every other day, etc. That seemed to work better. I also gave up the vinegar rinse, which didn't seem to be doing anything.

Week 5 or so the ends of my hair were so dry that I finally put some conditioner on them. That helped. I also used a little castile soap to wash the roots and that helped for a day or two. My hair was starting to feel heavy, although it didn't look too bad (I hope). Starting to have my doubts about my hair's compatibility to "no 'poo."

And then finally one day I had a day where my hair was so oily that all I could do was pull it back into a bun and wait to go home and wash it. I washed it with just a little bit of Neutrogena anti-residue shampoo, and suddenly my hair felt great. I think the natural oils that had been building up *had* made a difference, because my hair felt very soft and didn't have any flyaways like it usually does. I didn't use any conditioner that day, and I really loved how my hair felt and looked.

Since then (about a week and a half or so) I've been washing my hair only every three days or so, with a very tiny dab of shampoo, and then conditioning the ends. I do a very good rinse on the other days, if I'm not happy with my 'bedhead.' I'm just using up the shampoo and conditioner that I already have, and when I run out, I will be switching to a natural brand with no sodium laurel(th) sulfates.

Lessons learned: I definitely do not have to wash my hair every day. Every three days seems to be perfect for my hair type. I also don't have to use very much shampoo - just a dab, to refresh the roots. Conditioning just the ends seems to work great, too. My hair is much wavier and softer, with not so many flyaways. It also looks better just out of bed -- holds my style better, which saves time in the morning.

I do hear that if you have dry, curly hair, then no 'poo is a great solution, and I can totally see that. Also if you have very short hair, I think this would work great. My hair is just too fine and too silky (as opposed to porous) to handle the extra oil, which a different hair type would probably just soak up and handle just fine. So. I'm happy I did the experiment, because now I know, and I'm very happy to eventually switch to the most low-tech, natural shampoo/conditioner solutions, once I use up what I've got.

Was it worth it? Totally. For a cost of about 4 days when my hair felt really yucky, I learned a lot and can now cut down on my hair care even further, with better results. Fantastic!

That Kind Of A Night

It's that's kind of a night.

When you buy Safeway's Tomato Bisque Soup even though it's overpriced and oversalted (but really yummy).

When you buy a giant loaf of sourdough bread.

And chocolate biscuits.

And come home and stare blankly into space and try to remember what you were going to do next.

And realize that there is nothing -- nothing -- that you can do, except quit. Just for now. Quit.

(I have this whole theory that sometimes, you just have to quit. Quit for five minutes, quit for the night, quit for a week. Just quit. You don't even need to figure out when you're going to start again. Just quit. So that's what I'm doing.)

So. Back to the chair, the big fuzzy blanket, my brainless book. It's windy and cold outside, my head is in a fog, and I can't focus on anything. So. More stuff later.

After a chocolate biscuit. Or two. Or four.

Book: Anansi Boys

Here's another one for the Once Upon A Time Challenge. I'm not sure what category it falls into; maybe folklore? Urban mythology? Who knows; it's Neil Gaiman and it was terrific.

When Mr. Nancy dies, his son Fat Charlie is not sad. He is not angry. He is, as with all things concerning his father, embarrassed. Fat Charlie Nancy has a pretty simple relationship with his unusual father. In short, whatever Mr. Nancy does, Fat Charlie is embarrassed by it. End of story. So when Mr. Nancy dies, Charlie is ready to wash his hands of his whole embarrassing family.

Except.

When he goes to the funeral, he finds out from his little old lady neighbors that actually? He has a brother. Rather a flashy brother. Named Spider. Oh, and his father was a god. His father was Anansi the Spider, famous trickster. Specializing, apparently, in embarrassment.

Intrigued (and embarrassed), Fat Charlie asks his brother to visit him. And then all hell breaks loose. The world in which Fat Charlie desperately wishes to live ceases to be available to him, to be replaced by a world in which there are animal gods, and pesky brothers with god-like powers, and sassy policewomen who take an interest in him. Fascinating.

I have had this sitting on my shelf for a long time. I finished American Gods (in which Mr. Nancy is also a character) and just wasn't in the mood for what was described as "zany humor" or "scary and laugh-out-loud funny." I must be a god-awful curmudgeon because that just sounded totally not up my alley. So I waited.

And then I realized that since this dealt with folklore and gods and stuff, it probably fit into Once Upon A Time III, so I pulled it out. And guess what? I really enjoyed it. Yes, it was funny. And a little zany. But not too outrageous. It was smart and clever and insightful and a little bit scary, all the usual when you're reading a Gaiman book.

I especially liked Daisy, as no-nonsense as she turned out to be. I liked how everybody ended up where they were supposed to be. I felt kind of bad for Tiger. I thought Bird Woman was freaky. And I wished that Maeve hadn't died.

Mostly, it was just a really enjoyable read about family and misunderstandings, and finding your true whole self (even if you started out as only half a self). It's a good reminder that even when you feel as though parts of you are gone, lost forever -- you can grow back new parts. You can become whole again, like a starfish that loses a limb (or two).

I'm noticing another theme in my reading. Lately I've been readng books that focus on the telling of stories. Charles de Lint is full of storytelling characters. The Wood Wife was about telling stories in poetry and paintings. And all stories are Anansi's stories. Interesting. I've been feeling more and more like I'm living in a story, a grand adventure -- we don't know what's going to happen to the heroines next, but they are in the valley, going over big boulders and fighting floods and droughts -- but you know they've still got a ways to go because you're only halfway through the book. Maybe I'm being guided to read certain kinds of books. I like to think so.

Anyway, thanks, Neil. Another fantastic story. Um, you're really smart. And your books are terrific. Keep it up.

It's Settled, Then

Today I went out for a walk with a good friend and her four-year-old daughter. Lindsay (the four-year-old) was very into 'making wishes.'

So she wished upon flowers, which we then tossed into the fountain.

Then we wished upon a stick, which we then planted in the ground.

Then we found a dandelion puffball and she closed her eyes tight, made a wish, and then blew the puffs... which promptly blew right into me.

My friend said, "Oh, all over Daphne! Does that mean that she gets to share your wish?"

Lindsay looks at me with huge blue eyes and a big smile and says, "You want to be a princess when you grow up, too?"

Hey, works for me!

Thrifting Fun

Today I was seized by a desire to browse. To shop. To look at new things.

So on my lunch break I went to the thrift store to see what's new. (well, you know what I mean. Old, but new to me.)

I scored! Here's my loot:

* 1 beautiful peachy-orange print summer-weight shirt
* 1 lovely soft rose-pink Ann Taylor spring shirt
* 1 soft blue Eddie Bauer T-shirt for spring PJ-wearing
* 1 lilac 3/4 sleeve T-shirt from Boden for weekend-wearing
* 1 pair Abercrombie and Fitch jeans (which I was astonished actually fit and are, get this, almost too long!)
* 1 pair BRAND NEW (no wear at all) olive-green super-cute pointy-toe kitten-heel shoes
* 1 glass-top canister (either for bath salts or dry beans, haven't decided yet)
* 1 Pyrex brownie pan

Grand total? $32. Yippee! I'm so happy. The best scores were the shoes, the jeans, and the canister and pan. Unchipped Pyrex pans can be hard to find and this one is that nice medium-size, perfect for brownies and such. I only have an 8x8 and a 9 x 13 and this is somewhere in the middle.

I am so glad that I genuinely love thrift-shopping. It makes it so much easier to indulge that whim for "something new" when you don't feel like spending very much money. And around here, there seems to be pretty good turnover so you can get good brand-name items that are still in style. I love it!

That's my thrill for the day. I will try to take photos and update this post with a picture.

Book: The Seance

Victorian-Style Gothic Thriller Checklist:

1. Distraught heroine (check!)

2. Evil husband (check!)

3. Pansy artist True Love who dies an early death (check!)

4. Large falling-down haunted manor (check!)

5. Much fuss about chaperones (double-check!)

6. Mysterious whodunit (check!)

7. Charlatan spiritualists (check!)

8. Mesmerism (check!)

9. Disapproving relatives (check!)

10. Inheritances (check and double-check!)

I'm being silly; actually I really enjoyed this book. I liked it as much, if not more than The Ghost Writer. Although (on purpose or not) it seemed to follow the Victorian Gothic Thriller template pretty faithfully, it was a really fun story, full of dark mystery and evil men and smart(ish) women and that endless pool of gothic atmosphere: Spiritualism.

Acutally, it sort of remined me of a grownup version of a John Bellairs book, what with the Mystery Of The Armour and the Secret Room Behind The Fireplace and the Exploding Thingie and the Scary Monk's Wood Haunted By A Monk and all.

Basically, it's your standard Woman-Gets-Inheritance.... But-There's-A-Catch story. Throw in some tangled family history and a very disturbing mystery, and you've got yourself an excellent gothic mystery. I mean, come on. Spiritualism and seances and falling-down manors and mysterious dark husbands and scandals... what's not to like?

(what's with All My Capitalization tonight?)

I know it's not much of a review, but there are lots of plot twists and really, it's nothing that you can't imagine for yourself, but the wonderful writing and seriously authentic-period characters make it fun and you'll just have to read it for yourself.

I will say this: if you like John Bellairs, you will probably like this. I do, and I did.

**

What's up next? Getting back to the Once Upon A Time challenge, I'm going to read Anansi Boys, which has been sitting in my TBR stack since last summer. I think I'm finally in the mood for it!b

On Lent: Uh... not so much

Well.... turns out that Lent is REALLY LONG. And I am not very good at doing a certain something every single day. I'm more of an intermittent person. I like to rotate, change things up. It kills me to go a week or two without trying a new recipe. I'm that sort of person.

So... the reading and the writing didn't stick. But I can say that I really, really enjoyed the process when I did it, and I loved what I was learning about the Lenten season. It's Holy Week, and I really have no idea what that means except that it's the week before Easter. I'm not sure if we'll do anything to observe Holy Week or not. Maybe we'll make it to some services, maybe not. When Terri has energy, we're choosing to spend it on pure enjoyment: going out to run fun errands, sitting in the sun by the lake, dreaming about where we're going to camp as soon as she's strong enough. Somehow, that seems celebration and gratitude and worship enough. I think God understands.

Abrupt change of subject, related/unrelated: Today I talked to our old neighbor, from back at The Mold House. She said that she didn't think that the landlords did any remediation of the unit, and that when she asked about it, they were sort of snide and disdainful of us and the whole mold issue. You know, perhaps we made it all up. Right? Right. It made me so angry and hurt and upset. I didn't even want to talk about it. I don't want to think about that place any more.

Without going into a huge post about all this, but trying to pull all my thoughts together: I really feel like we're being led, somehow. Terri's illness is terrible, and it's so scary and really hard on us. But all along the way, we are being led to different places that somehow are exactly right, or we're being saved at the last moment, and somehow, all this feels... purposeful. Not that Anyone or Anything made Terri sick on purpose, as vengance or anything, but that this whole process is somehow... what is supposed to be happening. It is a Story. It's going to lead somewhere definite. Somewhere we couldn't have gotten to otherwise.

An example: On Christmas Day last year (the worst Christmas of my whole life), we were both feeling so miserable, tired from the move and stress, detoxing from mold, and almost beyond our wits. I was out working (petsitting for six hours, yes, on Christmas) and Terri was at home, feeling scared and horrible. She decided to go over to the local drugstore to get some socks (because our house was freezing and she had an infected toe and needed gigantic socks). She drove over, got the socks, came back to the car... and realized she'd left the lights on in her car, and the car was dead. She's sick, exhausted to the point of dropping, and freezing. It's Christmas Day. She forgot her phone and couldn't call me. And then she noticed some people walking towards her. Bad energy coming off them in waves. Their eyes, the desperate dead eyes of major meth/crack addiction, honing in on her in her extremely vulnerable state. Terri has years of working with this population and knew exactly how much danger she was in. Just as they got close, she heard... "Excuse me, ma'am, do you need some help?"

It was a nice, normal man, coming up to her with jumper cables. Terri gladly accepted the help, turning away so he wouldn't notice her tears of relief and gratitude. She said, "Are you from around here?" and he said (I kid you not), "No, ma'am, I'm from Paradise." Now, Paradise is a little town in Northern California, but at that moment, he truly was an angel from Paradise. He got her car running again and got her on the way, a little worse for wear, but safe.

Now really, if that isn't a message, what is? Hang on, and help will come.

So this week, we're grateful, and humbled, and joyful and I think God knows it whether we're in a church or not.

So Far Behind, But So What? And, Book-Related Movie Review!

Oh, the photos... they are piling up all pretty and spring-like and joyful... in my camera. Not downloaded. Unprocessed. Unshared. Oh well. At least I'm taking pictures. Soon, there will be happy pictures to share.

Yesterday I spent most of the day with a very sweet eight-year-old. We went for a hike with his puppy (talk about "Boy And His Dog" cuteness.... small boy, in waist-high weeds, with Jack Russell terrier bounding along beside him, barely able to see...), then went to the Oakland Zoo. While we were waiting in line for the sky-line ride thingie, I glimpsed the white tiger, sleeping on his back, sprawled out with limbs eagle-spread, looking exactly like my lazy kitty Cleo when she is sleeping hard, sprawled out. It was adorable. If I hadn't been waiting in line with a very excited little boy, I would have abandoned my place to go take a picture. It was almost unbelieveably cute.

Oh! I know. Here's a brief Book That Was Turned Into A Movie review. I rented The Woman In Black, which was really hard to find. As you may know, I read the book earlier this year, and really liked it. It was very effective, not super-scary but very spooky and kind of a perfect ghost story (and I'm a hard customer to please). I thought that it would be a fun treat to watch the movie after my long day of kid-sitting... and it was fun, but ultimately, like so many book-based movies, sort of disappointing. It was pretty faithful to the story, with a few changes that I didn't understand, because they weren't (in my opinion) any more effective, and wouldn't have been difficult to film or explain, so I don't know why they changed certain things. But the acting was fairly good (it's a BBC production) and the sets were very Masterpiece Theatre, and Eel Marsh House was gloomy and forboding. While most of the move really wasn't that scary, there were a couple parts where I was very creeped out, and one scene where I literally shrieked and threw the blanket over my head and waited until Terri told me it was safe to come out. So, it would be worth watching around Halloween, but it wasn't as good as I was expecting, based on the reviews. But who knows? You might enjoy it more.
***
Hair Update: Okay, this is approximately Week Three of the No 'Poo Experiment. I'm really not sure what to do about it right now. It *looks* pretty good (I hope) and it doesn't really feel greasy or anything, but it feels... heavier, or something. When I don't blow-dry it, it curls more than usual, which is nice. I'm not sure, though. I have very fine hair and the roots need all the 'lift' they can get, and they aren't quite sure what they're doing with themselves, yet. Some days they are nice and bouncey, and some days they are very flat and I hate it.

Washing every day with the baking soda isn't working -- it was getting very dry. So I switched to washing it with baking soda every other day, which seemed better. I think I'm going to abandon the vinegar rinse -- it seems to be making the ends of my hair very dry. I did a couple days where I simply used a little conditioner on the ends, and that seemed to work better. I also used a miniscule amount of shampoo one day, just to see what would happen, and my hair felt a little better then, but didn't seem to lose much of the natural soft oils that have been developing. So, maybe a once-a-week mild shampoo might be good, too.

I can see how if you had very thick, curly hair, this technique would work really well. I'm still unsure how it's working for my fine, wavy hair. I'm hoping to find a combination that works well, giving me healthy (and pretty!!) hair with minimal care and chemicals.
**
Related/unrelated: discovered today that plain coconut oil (sold solid, in jars) makes EXCELLENT body moisturizer. I bought some because I had read that it's a good whole-food high-temp cooking oil (I'm still researching this), but then I also read that people use it as a massage oil or dry-skin remedy, and also use it as a leave-in conditioner for hair. Terri has very thick, coarse hair so we tried it on her hair today -- beautiful. So soft and lush and not oily or greasy at all. So we tried it as a lotion for dry legs and feet -- also beautiful and soft. Better than any of our other lotions. So, yay! I love multi-purpose items. Not sure if it would work as conditioner for MY hair, but I may try some on the ends tonight, and then wash it with a bit of shampoo tomorrow and see how it goes.

Ok. Enough for tonight. Forgive my errant blogger ways. I seem to be in a transition period that is stretching on and on, but it's all for good. And, book review of The Seance soon, probably tomorrow!

Book: About Alice

I almost forgot that I read this slender little volume. It was last month's book club pick, and was a super-short spree about Calvin Trillin's adored wife, Alice.

I don't know Calvin Trillin's writing, although I think he's a New Yorker contributor? I don't know. Anyway, I liked what I read here, what little there was to read. It made me want to read more of his work.

There's not much to say, except that it's about Alice, his wife, and is more a character portrait than anything.

It certainly engendered a lively discussion, however, about the effects our parents (and mothers in particular) have on us, and what it means to be a strong, but feminine, opinionated woman, and whether that means you are a bitch or not. As my friend Nicki put it, "I found myself wishing that I were more like Alice, but then also wondering if that would really be a good thing."

My take is that I think it's wonderful for women to express their femininity AND their opinions, as long as you are also kind. I mean, you don't HAVE to be kind, but I think it's an important quality in every person. I, myself, love dressing up (although I rarely do it fully) and think there are few more wonderful things than a well-dressed, smart, wicked-sharp woman who is not afraid to say what she thinks.

And that's what I think. (sadly, am not dressed up at all at the moment. But picture me in Dior with red lipstick!)

An Insight

So sometimes thoughts just pop into your head and you're unable to write them down; you are driving or talking with a friend or at work or swimming or just waking up -- and you lose them.

But I just had a thought, and I have a blog, so here's my thought.

I have something posted at my desk which says, "Your job is to figure out what makes you happy, what fascinates you, and follow that lead." It was from a horoscope, I think. Anyway. Kate over at What Kate's Reading had posted a link to this thread, about why readers read romance novels.

Now, I don't even read "romance novels" and I found this thread fascinating. Why? Because it's all about why people choose to read what they read. And as I read the thread, and was tempted to post my own comment (even though I can't remember the last time I read a romance novel, unless Outlander counts, which it probably does), I found myself wondering why I wanted to jump in on the conversation. I realized it's because I just really, really love the entire subject of why we read what we read. Why does one person love romance novels best of all, and another love ghost stories? Why does one person only read self-help books, and another only read travel-adventure books? And why does another person read bits of all genres? And what is it about this author that we love, but not that author?

I find it totally fascinating to investigate why people choose certain books or genres, and what these books and genres bring up for them. Because certainly when we are talking reading a certain genre, there is an emotional response that keeps us coming back for more of the same. And I'm really interested in what those emotional responses are.

Take me, for example. I mostly seem to enjoy books that have an element of supernaturalism. I like all kinds of books and will generally read most anything, but my favorite books have a definite spookiness or otherworldliness. Now, why is this? The simple answer is that I like to be spooked. The slightly deeper answer is that there is a part of me that is tied to my childhood self, which dearly wants to believe in magic in the world. And further still: I actually do believe there is magic in the world, and things we don't understand. Reading books like urban fantasy and ghost stories just feels like a book written from my own personal version of the world. I feel at home in this genre. Also, I find that characters in these books (at least the ones I like) tend to be complicated and fighting with their own personal issues, and I enjoy reading about that sort of person.

Then why, for instance, don't I read romance novels? I'm a romantic person, right? Heroes and heroines in romance novels have complications, right? Or why don't I read more thriller novels? They're scary, right? Part of it is that, as Kate says, a banana is just a banana: they don't appeal to me (usually, although there are exceptions -- I always leave room for exceptions!). But why?

This is the thing that fascinates me. So to bring us full circle here, that's my Big Thought. This is one of my favorite subjects! This is something I could talk about endlessly. So, to skip over to a tangent I haven't even alluded to yet: I'm going to add this to my mental file of Stuff I Like. I'm on a six-month hiatus from Finding My Life Purpose, you know, but we've got to keep our eyes open all the time for possibilities. I looked into librarianship, but I think I'm more interested in the actual psychology of reading and readers and books and stories. So I was glad. That I noticed that I liked something.

Uh, something really obvious.

It's a sad day when you count it as a brilliant insight that you actually like something. But, when you've been struggling for years to figure out what it is exactly that you really like to do, let's count it as a triumph, yes? Who knows what can grow from these little seeds...

What about you? Favorite genres? And why?

Some Happy Things

I feel like I've done nothing but complain for weeks, so here's a few happy things on the horizon:

1. My brother is coming to visit at the end of the month (on his way to Dallas to visit another friend). I can't wait! We're going to see the elephant seals, go on a couple hikes, have a day in San Francisco, and make lots of fancy delicious food. We always have a good time and I'm really looking forward to it.

2. The new no-sugar plus exercise thing is working. I feel much less tired and happier in general. I'm going to try and keep this up until The Brother Visit (because I know we will need to make a dessert!) and then for another month after, at least. And then we'll see how I feel. I miss baking, but I'm going to try and replace it with art-making.

3. Speaking of which, I got a little spark today telling me that I'm ready to paint again. The creative muse definitely has her own rhythms... she needed a break, but now she's ready. I have a couple small projects to finish up and then I wanted to capitalize on OUAT3 and play with some new ideas. I have one more owl in my owl series in mind, but s/he might have to wait. I might even be feeling brave enough to try a larger canvas, which is exciting. Maybe. Let's not push it. (and to those of you who have asked if I'm going to sell prints, the answer is YES! I just need to figure out how to make the prints, and then I'll set up a little shop. Thank you so much for your interest!)

4. And some general happiness: our house is no longer freezing, now that the weather seems to have turned into genuine spring. Such a relief. Now I can finish unpacking. The spring weather is so wonderful. I'm noticing that the light here in Oakland is so much nicer than the light in Alameda. I think it has something to do with being on the water - Alameda gets a lot of glare, and my poor Oregonian eyes can't take it. I really do love our new digs.

And in bookish updates: am halfway through The Seance already, it's also really good. It reminds me of a book that was once on Reading Rainbow long, long ago... something about a gypsy, and a seance, and a head in a jar. Creepy! I love all that Spiritualism stuff. I read a good one by Sarah Waters, Affinity, a few years ago -- maybe that Victorian era ghost-story stuff will be my theme for October this year.

Oh, and speaking of good and scary, I found out that there is a BBC TV-movie production of The Woman In Black, which is supposed to be incredibly creepy. It was hard to find but a local rental place has it, and I'm going to try to watch it this weekend. I can't wait! Ghost stories are my favorite sort of spooky book/movie.